Some people think it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports is better like tennis and swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #part #sports #teams #football #tennis

Some in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society argue that engaging in team-based

sports

for example

, football is more welcoming than attending other individually played ones .

While

I believe both of them are very beneficial, in

this

essay I will discuss both sides and explain my support for the first view. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages to taking part in team-based

sports

. Being part of a team would help

players

to improve their interpersonal skills.Joining clubs or teams provide them with more chance to communicate with other teammates

Correct word choice

and

show examples

help them to strike up new friendships.

In addition

, these types of

sports

Change the verb form

are

show examples

less boring.

For example

, climbing is a sport that involves corporate and the help of other teammates and during these interactions chances of communication or talking face to face

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

athletes share their opinions which can be really exciting for them.

On the other hand

, in

sports

which are played ,all the achievements are for one person ,and

players

do not share their medals. It is important since it is psychologically

proved

Correct your spelling

proven

show examples

that

players

in these kinds of

sports

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more motivated. the source of motivation

come

Verb problem

apply

show examples

is that one person most would be acclaimed.

For example

;e, in football all

players

,whether they had a role in matches or regardless of the goals they scored will be claimed to the same extent. In conclusion,

players

in team-based

sports

not only can enjoy more but

also

can improve other interpersonal skills and find new friends.

Submitted by badshashaikh840 on Sat Nov 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Paragraphs should flow from one idea to the next with appropriate use of linking words and phrases. Organize your ideas effectively to enhance clarity. The logical structure in this essay is somewhat weak with ideas occasionally appearing disjointed. Each paragraph should logically follow the previous one, creating a cohesive argument.

coherence cohesion

Include both an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay effectively. Your introduction should clearly state the topic and preview the main ideas you will discuss. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion. Although present, the introduction and conclusion could be developed further to provide more clarity on your position and summarize your discussion more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Expand and support your main points with detailed explanations, arguments, and examples. Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea and relevant supporting information. The essay provides basic support for the main points, but the examples and explanations lack specificity and depth, which are necessary to fully develop your arguments.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task. Make sure you discuss both views presented in the prompt and provide a clear opinion. Your essay should offer a balanced discussion of both the benefits of team-based sports and individual sports but tends to focus more heavily on the benefits of team-based sports. Ensure equal attention is given to both views for a complete response.

task achievement

Develop ideas comprehensively by exploring the implications, contrasts, or reasons for each point. Broad statements should be avoided in favor of clear and detailed ones that thoroughly answer the question. The ideas in the essay are relevant but not developed comprehensively. More detail and depth would strengthen the ideas presented and help to fully meet the task requirements.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support your points. Real-world examples, data, or hypothetical scenarios can effectively illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing. The essay should have more relevant and specific examples to substantiate the arguments being made rather than the general statements provided.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

244 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cooperation
team spirit
sense of belonging
community
leadership
trust
collective responsibility
dependency
self-reliance
self-discipline
goal setting
tailored development
flexibility
social support

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Some people think it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports is better like tennis and swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, a growing number of peole with health problems are trying alternative nedicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations,others ,however think that tv and internet is the best way to learn.Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that those moving to abroad should try to adopt themselves to the new cultures while others think there is no need to do so. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?