IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

With the rise in popularity of the Internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#rise #popularity #internet #newspapers
By increasing
users
 of the
internet
 for the nearest time
newspapers
 become a thing of
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
. I
am partly agree
Change the verb form
partly agree
show examples
 with
this
 idea of statement. On the one hand,
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of the
internet
 has a big benefit for
users
.
However
,
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 they are able to find information without problems that's why
users
 of the
internet
 increasing day by day. For occurrence, by statistics which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 introduced
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the page of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 called "
Times
Add a comma
Times,
show examples
" we can see that
users
 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 increased twice for the
last
 3 years.
On the other hand
, decreasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
utilizers
Replace the word
utilisation
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newspapers
 has
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
 bad
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
. Because
newspapers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 advantages
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the train, plane or place something like
this
,because there are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 opportunities for using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
For instance
, from
magazine
Add an article
a magazine
show examples
 called "
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
Xamrojon" we are able to know that 28%
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 of
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 world read
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newspapers
 in places where is not possible to use
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
,
25
Correct word choice
and 25
show examples
% of them consist
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people older
50
Change preposition
than 50
show examples
 years old. It means that individuals should develop
magazine
Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
show examples
as
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and
atract
Correct your spelling
attract
 attention of the people under 50 years old it can be
reason
Add an article
a reason
the reason
show examples
 to develop their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 and the best source to
kill
Verb problem
save
show examples
 their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
. Taking everything into consideration, increasing of utilizers of the
internet
 has
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
show examples
 advantages
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay attempts to address the topic but lacks a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, detracting from its overall coherence and cohesion. Aim to provide a more definitive stance with an introductory thesis statement and a summarizing concluding paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
While some main points were supported, the support was not always convincing or well-developed. Improve the coherence of your essay by ensuring a clear logical progression between ideas and include a wider range of examples to thoroughly address the prompt.
Task Achievement
Your response partially addresses the question but fails to fully develop a comprehensive argument concerning the future relevance of newspapers. Work on extending your ideas, presenting more thorough explanations, and ensuring that your position on the statement is clear and maintained throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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