IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many universitiy students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Universities offer a lot of different
type
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types
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 of
lessens
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lessons
show examples
 and seminars for their
students
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 not only their professional fields.
However
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, many
students
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thisk
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think
 that qualification is more vital in
the
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apply
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university life. I believe that a wide variety of
lectures
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 broaden their horizons and enhance their intellectual skills. One reason why I reckon that
uviversity
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university
students
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 are interested in only professional improvements would be that being a
succesfull
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successful
 person
on
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in
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 a field needs
lot
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a lot
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 of
endevour
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endeavour
 and passion and they want to spend all their energy
for
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on
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 their branch.
For example
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, a medical
student
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 usually
attend
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attends
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 medical-related
lectures
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 in the education period. Their
the
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apply
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most essential target is the cure of people's
psychology
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psychological
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 and medical problems.
Thus
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, some professional fields turn to be a
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
 unavoidably and
then
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 people just give all their attention
on
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to
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this
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.
On the other hand
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, I think that taking several types of
lectures
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 and
seminers
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seminars
creat
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creates
show examples
 a huge impact for intellectual background.
For instance
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, an
achitecture
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architecture
student
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 always takes lessons not only main
subjects
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 but
also
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different
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in different
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disiplines
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disciplines
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 art history, psychology, sociology, etc. Despite being an architecture
student
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,
this
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 field is directly linked to all other
branchs
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branches
.
Additionally
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, these
lectures
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also
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 include interesting topics and fun for
students
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. In
other word
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another word
other words
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, optional
subjects
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 offer interesting topics and informative
contents
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content
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 concerning other
brachs
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branches
braches
braces
. In conclusion, other
subjects
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 give
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student
Add an article
the student
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 different
perspective
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perspectives
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 and improve their cognitive abilities.
That is
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 the biggest reason why universities give some different alternative lessons to people
except
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besides
show examples
 their main
subjects
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to clearly structure your essay with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections to enhance readability and logical flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on the clarity of your ideas by providing more explicit topic sentences and developing paragraphs more thoroughly. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each paragraph unambiguously presents and supports a single main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the range and accuracy of your grammar and vocabulary as grammatical errors can hinder the coherence of the essay.
Task Achievement
You should address all parts of the task more equally and ensure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay. Make sure to discuss both views presented in the question before providing your own opinion.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This will also demonstrate your ability to use your knowledge and experiences in your writing, which is a key component of task response.
Task Achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas, and instead, expand on them with detailed explanation or example. This will show your ability to discuss a topic fully and contribute to a higher task achievement score.
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