Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Although
some
people
think that we should not
change
things which affect our
lives
badly
such
as working in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job that we don’t like or
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
of money, others believe that we should
change
and improve these
conditions
.
This
essay will discuss both sides of the argument and explain why we should
change
situations
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
we do not want to live. On the
one
hand, some
people
have
general
Add an article
a general
show examples
belief about to live with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harsh
conditions
will bring success and help to maintain achievements. If
people
live and manage hard
conditions
, they can easily organise their
lives
when become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealthy person.
Furthermore
, they can help
people
who
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad situations when they
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich because they already know the feeling of being poor.
In addition
to that, living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unwanted
conditions
may trigger different side of the personality
such
as being more disciplined and hardworking
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
also
bring success.
On the other hand
, others think that we should take risks and improve our
life
’s
conditions
immediately,
otherwise
we can stuck in the same
life
until die.
Also
, coping with the
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
environment for a long time may bring
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
illnesses
such
as anxiety and cancer.
Furthermore
, we are only the
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have
an
Change the article
the
show examples
ability to bring
change
to our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and no
one
else will do something for us.
Moreover
, they believe that we do not need to face harsh
conditions
to understand other’s
lives
and
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
a good person enough reason for help to others. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have their own merit. In my opinion, we should improve our
life
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
. If we are working in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job that we do not like, we should not spend even more than
one
day and seek for the better
one
because we have a limited time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
and we will not come to the earth to live again. That’s why we should always do things that feel great.
Submitted by airbender on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure logical sequence and paragraphing. Ideas should flow naturally from one to the next without abrupt shifts. Make use of cohesive devices appropriately without over-reliance.
Task Achievement
Your introduction and conclusion should clearly address the task prompt, providing a clear position that is sustained throughout the response.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with specific, relevant examples. Avoid making general statements without supporting them with concrete evidence or illustration.
Coherence & Cohesion
Avoid repetitive sentence structures and use a variety of complex structures to showcase language proficiency.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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