An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Nowadays increased number of obesity
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
adolascents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
is a vital
issue
.
This
could
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
many issues in their future in terms of health problems and health care costs. In my opinion,
changed
Change the form of the verb
changing
show examples
food
habits and lack of exercise are major reasons behind
this
issue
. In
this
essay, I will discuss some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
problem.
Over consume
Wrong verb form
Consumption
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of convenient
food
is one of the major
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
obesity. In
Correct article usage
the contemporary
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contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
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busy world,
food
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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are
Verb problem
have
show examples
change
Replace the word
changed
show examples
to
Wrong verb form
grabbing
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grab
Wrong verb form
grabbing
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junk foods rather than
Wrong verb form
cook
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cooking
Wrong verb form
cook
show examples
meals at home.
For example
, a recent survey in London shows that more than fifty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
regular consuming
children
are
overweighted
Replace the word
overweight
show examples
. To resolve
this
issue
, the
parants
Correct your spelling
parents
should allocate more
time
to cook healthy meals at home. The government should change the labour policy to provide cooking
time
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents who
has
Verb problem
are
show examples
less than 15 years old kids.
As a result
, parents will have enough
time
to prepare
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
and
children
will consume
mhomely
Correct your spelling
homely
food
which will improve their health and reduce
overweight
Add an article
the overweight
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
Moreover
, lack of physical
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
another significant reason behind
this
issue
.
For example
, I recent study indicated that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physically active
children
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
less chance
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
overweighted
Replace the word
overweight
show examples
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to
non active
Add a hyphen
non-active
show examples
.To confront
this
issue
, physical exercise should
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
a significant
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
show examples
. The government should act to include
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
ten
Change preposition
of ten
show examples
hours a week for physical education in
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
curriculum.
Furthermore
, the awareness
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
be provided for the parents
also
will help to compact
this
issue
. In conclusion, There are
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
obesity issues in
children
due to
the lack of physical exercise and
over consume
Replace the word
overconsumption
show examples
of
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
foods. Awareness and allocation of
time
for
Correct article usage
a helathy
show examples
helathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
is paramount.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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task achievement
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement articulating the essay's main argument. The conclusion provides a summary but does not effectively synthesize the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Adhere to a clear essay structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Avoid overly complex sentences that detract from the clarity of your points.
task achievement
Support all main points with clear, specific, and relevant examples. Ensure that all examples are explained thoroughly to demonstrate their relevance to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Check the usage of articles and possessive pronouns throughout the essay. Besides, employ a range of cohesive devices appropriately, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
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