An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?
Nowadays increased number of obesity
in
Change preposition
among
adolascents
is a vital Correct your spelling
adolescents
issue
. This
could result
many issues in their future in terms of health problems and health care costs. In my opinion,Add the preposition
result in
result from
changed
Change the form of the verb
changing
food
habits and lack of exercise are major reasons behind this
issue
. In this
essay, I will discuss some solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
for
Change preposition
to
this
problem.
Over consume
of convenient Wrong verb form
Consumption
food
is one of the major reson
Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
of
obesity. In Change preposition
for
Correct article usage
the contemporary
contemporary
busy world, Correct article usage
the contemporary
food
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
are
Verb problem
have
change
to Replace the word
changed
Wrong verb form
grabbing
grab
junk foods rather than Wrong verb form
grabbing
Wrong verb form
cook
cooking
meals at home. Wrong verb form
cook
For example
, a recent survey in London shows that more than fifty percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
food
regular consuming children
are overweighted
. To resolve Replace the word
overweight
this
issue
, the parants
should allocate more Correct your spelling
parents
time
to cook healthy meals at home. The government should change the labour policy to provide cooking time
for the
parents who Correct article usage
apply
has
less than 15 years old kids. Verb problem
are
As a result
, parents will have enough time
to prepare foods
and Fix the agreement mistake
food
children
will consume mhomely
Correct your spelling
homely
food
which will improve their health and reduce overweight
Add an article
the overweight
issue
.
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
Moreover
, lack of physical activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
are
another significant reason behind Change the verb form
is
this
issue
. For example
, I recent study indicated that the
physically active Correct article usage
apply
children
are
less chance Verb problem
have
to be
Change preposition
of being
overweighted
Replace the word
overweight
comparing
to Wrong verb form
compared
non active
.To confront Add a hyphen
non-active
this
issue
, physical exercise should have
a significant Verb problem
be
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
in
Change preposition
of
school
Add an article
the school
time table
. The government should act to include Correct your spelling
timetable
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
ten
hours a week for physical education in Change preposition
of ten
school
curriculum. Add an article
the school
Furthermore
, the awareness shoud
be provided for the parents Correct your spelling
should
also
will help to compact this
issue
.
In conclusion, There are incresing
obesity issues in Correct your spelling
increasing
children
due to
the lack of physical exercise and over consume
of Replace the word
overconsumption
convenient
foods. Awareness and allocation of Replace the word
convenience
time
for Correct article usage
a helathy
helathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
life style
is paramount.Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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task achievement
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement articulating the essay's main argument. The conclusion provides a summary but does not effectively synthesize the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Adhere to a clear essay structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Avoid overly complex sentences that detract from the clarity of your points.
task achievement
Support all main points with clear, specific, and relevant examples. Ensure that all examples are explained thoroughly to demonstrate their relevance to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Check the usage of articles and possessive pronouns throughout the essay. Besides, employ a range of cohesive devices appropriately, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.