Some people believe that nowsdays, we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As part of globalization and internet facilities people learning more about
this
world and they have too many choices in their hands. I strongly agree with this
statement because,
we have many things and have many of information and it makes us confused and overwhelmed.
On the one hand, from my own experience, I didn't have much of options a few decades back but nowadays, we have a lot of paths and opportunities and it makes us even more confused as well. Remove the comma
apply
For instance
, a few decades back in our country higher education paths were very limited and there is
not many universities or courses available but now there are a lot of private and public universities, colleges and skill development programs and more gives more choices to students. Because of that, it created confusion among them as to which path they wanted to choose became Wrong verb form
were
challenge
for them.
At the same time, now we have internet Add an article
a challenge
facility
all over the world Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
it
provides a large amount of information to people and Correct pronoun usage
which
it
creates a social trend in society. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, from my country, I can learn about countries like the USA or European country's culture, trends, lifestyles, technologies and more. However
, these details are very confusing among the younger generation and they struggling to choose a path between our own culture and Western culture.
In conclusion, emerging technology and the world's rapid changes create a lot of paths for people and at the same time, it creates more confusion. From learning opportunities to lifestyle
we have many options to choose and still struggling to overcome from that.Add a comma
lifestyle,
Submitted by n_wara11 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay's overall structure needs improvement. It lacks clear paragraphing and transitions between ideas. Try to have distinct paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be better articulated to state your position and summarize the argument effectively. The conclusion should succinctly restate your viewpoint and summarize the main arguments.
coherence cohesion
Main points were somewhat supported by arguments and examples, but you need to develop them further. They should be more elaborated and specific to convincingly support your viewpoint.
task achievement
The response to the task was completed, but the insights provided were not fully comprehensive or clearly expressed. Work on clearly stating and exploring each point to fully address the essay question.
task achievement
The ideas presented were relevant, but they can be expressed more clearly. Work on enhancing the fluency and precision of your language to articulate your arguments.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. The examples given were relevant to the topic, but more detailed examples would strengthen your essay's argumentative power.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.