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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
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The idea that,
besides
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 making money, enterprises
also
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 need to have public responsibilities remains a source of controversy. In my opinion,
while
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 generating profit is the top priority for each company, I agree that they should
also
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 conduct their business in a socially responsible manner. On the one hand, the efforts of companies to maximize their
profits
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 may have some benefits for society as a whole.
Firstly
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, the higher the
profits
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 earned by enterprises, the more taxes they pay to the government.
As a result
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, authorities may have more revenue to spend on the primary fields, including education and health care, which leads to an improvement in the quality of life of the whole community.
Secondly
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, by earning huge
profits
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 companies, companies can reinvest to expand their business.
For example
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, firms could use their capital to grow their production, creating new job opportunities for the community.
On the other hand
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, there are important reasons why businesses should
also
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 accept that they have social responsibilities. The first reason is that their activities have an effect on the environment. Without controls, production processes may result in serious
on
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental degradation,
such
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 as global warming stemming from factory emissions or the irresponsible disposal of industrial waste.
For example
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, if factories installed waste treatment systems
instead
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 of discharging chemical wastes into rivers, water pollution could be controlled. Another reason is that enterprises should help those who are less fortunate since they have the money to do so.
For example
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, big corporations
such
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 as Unilever and Vinamilk have enhanced their public image through philanthropic actions
such
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 as providing scholarships and giving charitable donations. In conclusion,
although
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 I recognize that making
profits
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 is the fundamental principle of business, I would argue that all businesses should profoundly reflect upon their social responsibilities.
Submitted by sxtdme0104 on

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task achievement
Maintain a balanced approach to both sides of an argument to show comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively.
task achievement
Support main points with specific examples for greater impact.
coherence cohesion
Summarize your arguments comprehensively in your conclusion to make a stronger final impact.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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