Some people think that family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence in young adults. Which view do you agree with? Use examples to support your position.

#people #influence #adults #friends #support #position

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It is indisputable that relative impact exerts a profound and wide-ranging influence on adolescents.

Although

Linking Words

friends

Use synonyms

' advice is a more effective approach.

However

Linking Words

, I contend that

while

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the family effect plays a pivotal and indispensable role in young adults, it

also

Linking Words

presents some negative consequences that should not be overlooked. In terms of problems,

friends

Use synonyms

' words will always affect individuals easily for various compelling reasons. Some people posit that when a person is with his group, he will try to act like them, even if the action is bad. The primary justification offered in favour of

this

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assertion is

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

a person's fear of losing his

friends

Use synonyms

For instance

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, a teenager named Alex is part of a group known for skipping school and engaging in petty vandalism. Alex personally disapproves of these actions, but he feels immense pressure to conform. If he refuses to participate, he fears being ostracized and losing his

friends

Use synonyms

' approval.

This

Linking Words

fear of rejection overrides his better judgment, leading him to join in activities he would normally avoid. In

this

Linking Words

scenario, Alex's actions are influenced by the words and behaviours of his

friends

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

simple fact highlights the wide range

effects

Change preposition

of effects

show examples

friends

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

family advice is more important, adolescents always avoid it. Most of the time, families want their child to have a positive, and successful life, so young adults see that positive word is boring. Based on information I saw in a research talking about the desire for forbidden elements. In conclusion, it is evident that

friends

Use synonyms

influence overweight family impact. parents must ensure steps are taken to prevent

this

Linking Words

phenomenon from deteriorating in the future.

Submitted by bajahzar90 on Sun Oct 27 2024

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Task Response

Ensure your thesis statement clearly outlines your main argument, as it seems somewhat confusing in the introduction.

Task Response

Develop your ideas further by providing more detailed explanations and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to maintain a clearer structure, where each paragraph advances your argument without unnecessary repetition.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your ideas and ensure a smooth flow.

Task Response

Provide a more balanced discussion that acknowledges the other side, especially if it strengthens your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument.

Task Response

You used an example involving 'Alex' to illustrate the influence of friends, which adds depth to your point.

Task Achievement

You have made an effort to address both sides of the argument, showing awareness of varying perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

upbringing
nurturing
kinship
intrinsic
peer group
adolescence
camaraderie
conformity
social dynamics
role models
interpersonal relationships
socialization
influence
maturation
family ties
peer pressure
support system
cultural norms
identity formation
mentoring

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Some people think that family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence in young adults. Which view do you agree with? Use examples to support your position.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher; others think that it depends on the attitude of the students. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that historic buildings should be preserved in their original form. Others argue that this is both inadvisable and impossible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A young person will start work at your office next month to gain work experience. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter inform him/her about the work that needs to be done at the office; explain what he/she is supposed to do on the first day; suggest what he/she should bring to work.

eople are living in a “throwaway society”, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to?