IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

supermarket sells more import products than local products. explain the advantage and disadvantage

#supermarket #import #products #advantage
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There are two main reasons why supermarkets are selling foreign products more.
Firstly
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, because there is unbearable demand
of
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from
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 customers that
favor
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favour
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 more quality
product
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 provided by import supplier than local ones provide and supermarkets
sees
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see
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 that as an opportunity to gain more profit.
Secondly
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,
due to
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 prices. Even though some stuffs are imported, surprisingly the price can be cheaper than locally produced items and it is reducing
cost
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costs
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 for
supermarket
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supermarkets
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. I personally agree with the decision of supermarkets to highlight more abroad products and assume it is a positive development.
According to
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 my experience, in reality,
local
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the local
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 manufacturer has never been serious
to invent
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about inventing
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 an innovation
how
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on how
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 to modify its
product
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.
For example
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, when I buy snacks from
local
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a local
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 producer, the taste is not varied. Unlike snacks from other countries, they make unlimited types of snacks that allow me to try each of them and the taste is unquestionable. Talking about prices, local market players are required to enlarge their research to reduce
cost
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costs
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while
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stay
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staying
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 competitive in the food market,
due to
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 the fact that big importers are capable
to sell
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of selling
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 similar
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 yet cheaper
price
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prices
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.
For customer
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Customer
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 with
cost-efficient
Correct article usage
a cost-efficient
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 mindset would not
be hesitated
Wrong verb form
hesitate
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 to go after more
economist
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economic
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option
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options
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.
To conclude
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, the way supermarket chooses to sell foreign dominant products is not entirely wrong. The aim is to upscale the level of competition to local producers. Local producers should bear in mind that imported items will not always be a threat,
on the contrary
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 can be inferred as a benchmark on how to generate better
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 with cost-efficient
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 to deliver to customers.
Submitted by imsarunn on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a logical flow of ideas by organizing paragraphs effectively, with clear topic sentences and coherent transitions.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state the topic and summarize the main points. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific and relevant examples to strengthen your argument and illustrate your ideas.
Task Achievement
Task achievement could be improved by fully addressing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. In this essay, the disadvantages are not fully explored.
Task Achievement
Develop a central idea in each paragraph with clarity and depth to create a comprehensive response to the prompt.
Task Achievement
Specific and relevant examples add weight to the task response. Include them to substantiate the points made in the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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