IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some think that politicians should always be honest while others feel that there are times when they must lie. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#think #politicians #times
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While some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
people
 believe that political leaders should be true to society at all times,
whereas
 others claim that they must lie at certain times. In my opinion, I believe that they should stay honest considering the trust that
people
 have in them and the responsibility they hold to protect their civilians.
This
 essay will discuss both views and share my opinion in detail with relevant examples. On the one hand, some
people
 believe that politicians should be honest.
This
 is mainly because the majority of the decisions are influenced by
such
 government officials considering the well-being of
people
, so they should be trustworthy rather than manipulators.
In addition
,
people
 have their belief that they protect the best interests of citizens in addressing national or social issues. If they suspect that they are lying,
such
 behaviour would never be tolerated and create significant impacts on society.
As a result
,
people
 will never believe anything they ever convey regardless of the significance.
On the other hand
, some
people
 argue that it is acceptable to lie at some times.
In other words
, if there is a situation that compels them to hide the truth for the benefit of
people
 and the community it is considered acceptable.
However
,
such
 opportunities should not inculcate the habit of lying because the role they are serving is incredibly important to maintain order in society.
For example
, in India,
people
 lose their belief in political officials because they never satisfy their promises to
people
.
To conclude
, in my opinion, it's better to stay true to the nation regardless of situations to hold the trust of
people
 because if it is lost it can never be gained which will impact the political stability.
As a result
,
such
 leaders will never be a leader again.
Submitted by jeeanay on

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task achievement
Work on developing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that directly respond to the task and make your position known from the outset.
task achievement
Ensure each body paragraph has one clear main idea with adequate development and specific examples to support it. Avoid generalisations by providing more details and concrete illustrations.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a recognizable structure, but transition words and phrases could be used more effectively to link ideas and paragraphs together. This will help create a smoother reading experience and reinforce the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While you have used an introduction and conclusion, consider enhancing them by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and reinforcing your argument in the conclusion. This will give your essay a more defined position and a sense of completeness.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of repetitiveness in your arguments and structure. Aim to introduce a variety of sentence types and structures to exhibit a wide range of language skills.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • integrity
  • transparency
  • ethical dilemma
  • diplomatic tact
  • misinformation
  • public trust
  • social fabric
  • national security
  • pragmatic politics
  • democratic principles
  • accountability
  • role models
  • grey area
  • public perception
  • preventive secrecy
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