IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, the use of private cars is increasing dramatically and moeny spent on the road system is rising. Who should pay for this? Some people think the users should pay, while others think the government should pay. Discuss and give your opinion

#cars #moeny #road #system #people #users #government
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with the
repid
Correct your spelling
rapid
 development of society, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of private cars
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 growing
dramaticaly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 in recent years, and the cost
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 system is quickly growing
corespondingly
Correct your spelling
steadily
. It has become a noticeable debate on whether the
car
 drivers
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 pay for fees or the
government
 should pay. In my
opition
Correct your spelling
opinion
 of view,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 should take more
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
. Undoubtedly, It is the
government
 who
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 the budget and
build
Correct subject-verb agreement
builds
show examples
 the transportation facilities, so they should renew, maintain the current
road
 systems to make them
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
 properly and ensure the
car
 drivers and drive smoothly and well
intructed
Correct your spelling
instructed
,
for example
, the
government
 should
monitoring
Change the form of the verb
monitor
show examples
 the
car
 flow and find the bottlenecks and the take
promot
Correct your spelling
prompt
 measures to improve it or broaden the width of
road
Add an article
the road
show examples
 and increase the driving channels.
besides
, the
government
 should
also
 invest more money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
other transportation
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 like
Correct article usage
the sub-way
show examples
sub-way
Correct your spelling
subway
show examples
 and public bus system, if it
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 well constructed based on the real situation, it could help a lot to relieve cars amount on the street.
On the other hand
, the
government
 should make a more predictive plan
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
city
Change noun form
city's
show examples
overall
 layout, try to build
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 shopping
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and commercial
central
Replace the word
centre
show examples
 outside of downtown, it will surely be beneficial to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reduce
trafic
Correct your spelling
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
. In summary,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars are more and more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the street and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
spenditure
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 on the
road
 system are dramatically rising at the same time, the users may take some measures to reduce
car
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 and take
public
Add an article
a public
the public
show examples
 bus, but
Government
 is the main entity to make the budget and take measures to improve
this
 situation.
Submitted by bryce.liuwc on

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coherence cohesion
You should structure your essay with clear and distinct paragraphs, each with a clear main idea. Ensure your arguments progress logically throughout the essay, and use a variety of connective words to improve the readability.
task achievement
To fully address the task, you need to discuss both views and clearly state your opinion. Ensure you fully expand and support your ideas and try using more concrete examples to illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Private cars
  • Dramatically
  • Road system
  • Congestion charges
  • Maintenance
  • Public transportation
  • Infrastructure
  • General taxation
  • Social equity
  • Hybrid model
  • Environmental impact
  • Green taxes
  • Sustainable transportation
  • Autonomous vehicles
What to do next:
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