More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,…) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #information #address #telephone #activities #networks #purposes #development

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These days, technology has been developing, so people have access to a range of things online, but it is important that they put their personal

information

Use synonyms

on the apps and websites for doing their regular work. In my opinion, it is a negative development owing to the fact that governments know about our position

also

Linking Words

, some people can still your identity to commit

crimes

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. On the one hand, if you fill out the websites blank correctly, managers of these things sell our

information

Use synonyms

to authorities, so they can follow us and find your habits and favourites;

as a result

Linking Words

, you do not have private lifestyles

due to

Linking Words

the fact that international governments have

this

Linking Words

information

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, the population in one country

that is

Linking Words

not native;

moreover

Linking Words

, they buy their things on the Internet;

thereafter

Linking Words

, they can see their original government and know about their home address, phones, and so on.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, when the websites that know our

information

Use synonyms

are hacked by communities who do offences;

then

Linking Words

they can use our identity to commit

crimes

Use synonyms

after many times we can see we are in prison for massive

crimes

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while

Linking Words

we are ordinary citizens and work for a company;

furthermore

Linking Words

, when the

crimes

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were done in other regions we were at work or sleeping;

hence

Linking Words

, it is important that our families and lawyer spend a lot of time on the fact that we are not convicts.

To sum up

Linking Words

, technology helps us to have perfect lives;

nevertheless

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, the evidence that our

information

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can be shared or other people are able to use them are not professional

happens

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on Thu Aug 29 2024

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task response

The essay addresses the topic but could benefit from clearer articulation and deeper development of ideas. Ensure that you provide specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the logical structure by organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

introduction conclusion present

Work on the conclusion to make it stronger and more impactful. Summarize your main points succinctly and restate your opinion clearly.

task response

The essay successfully identifies potential issues associated with sharing personal information online.

coherence and cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present, providing a basic structure for the essay.

task response

The use of specific terms related to technology and privacy demonstrates a good grasp of relevant vocabulary.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal information
Online privacy
Security concerns
Identity theft
Enhanced connectivity
Convenient access
Social networks
Banking purposes
Positive development
Negative impact

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More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,…) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Even though governments have worked hard to bring about improvements in the healthcare system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are the potential reasons for this, and what are some of the long-term effects?

Recent research has confirmed that human activity has become the greatest threat to plant and animal life. Why do you think this has happened? How can we reduce our impact on the natural world?

Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others believe that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include : &Where you stayed. & What the problems were. & How they can fix your complaints.