In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.
In some countries, teenagers are advised to have a
year
gap
for working or traveling
before starting university Change the spelling
travelling
studies
. This
trend would create certain benefits but there will also
be drawbacks.
On the one hand, using a gap
year
to work and travel would bring about several advantages. One evident strength is that it would help them have more experience to support their studies
. In other words
, if they find an appropriate job with their major, they will have more time
to try and gain experience. It means that they have time
to prepare for their essential skills, such
as communication and financial management. Another reason is that it would help them have time
to prepare financially. To study
at university requires a large amount of money. If they spend all of their Change the verb form
Studying
time
working, they can earn some money for college. Another way, they can use this
time
for finding
scholarships that can help make their tuition more adorable.
Wrong verb form
find
On the other hand
, there are some obvious disadvantages to the gap
year
trend. The most negative side of a gap
year
is wasting time
. When students start a year
gap
without any clear plan, they easily get discouraged because they are not compelled to follow any certain schedule. Thus
, they may become lazy and not want to do anything during their gap
year
, which leads to a lot of downtime watching TV and playing games. An additional drawback of this
trend is that students may lose their motivation in
Change preposition
to study
studies
after a gap
year
. They are likely to be away from academic studies
for so long that they may forget a few lessons and find it difficult to catch up with university courses. As a result
, they are no longer interested in studying.
In conclusion, having a gap
year
helps students have a good background for their studies
and they can prepare full funds before starting college. But it wastes their time
and makes them lose motivation to study. I think if they choose to take a year
, they should create a clear plan what
they should do within a Change preposition
for what
year
to avoid wasting time
, money and effortSubmitted by dnquynhtram23 on
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Task Response
In terms of task response, it's important to ensure that both the advantages and disadvantages are explored in a balanced manner. You have provided a clear response to the prompt, but the examples could be more specific and detailed to strengthen your argument. Aim to include more diverse and detailed examples that directly relate to the points discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have structured the essay well with a clear introduction and conclusion. Your main points are present, but occasionally the transitions between them can be abrupt, affecting the essay's flow. To enhance coherence, try to use cohesive devices and transition words that smoothly connect your ideas and paragraphs.