Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary societies, the average life expectancy has been increasing. Some groups of individuals claim that
this
Linking Words
is in alignment with a substantial number of benefits.
However
Linking Words
, other groups hold the opposite view, believing that the aged
generation
Use synonyms
causes issues. I completely agree with the former perspective, and in the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on the reasons behind my viewpoint. Those in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of the benefits of older
people
Use synonyms
argue that they possess a substantial amount of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
in the various fields that are able to convey to the next
generation
Use synonyms
, leading to a surge in the number of successful
people
Use synonyms
with the tremendous skills and knowledge gained from their ancestors. A 2019 experiment conducted by the BBC, assessed the rate of employment in two different groups, one without any knowledge,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, the other was trained by a retired group. The results revealed an 80%
increase
Use synonyms
in the latter group.
Consequently
Linking Words
, if the older
generation
Use synonyms
transfers their expertise to the next ones,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society will witness an
increase
Use synonyms
in their successful
people
Use synonyms
, fostering their improvement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous fields.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I acknowledge the view, emphasizing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the negative side of
this
Linking Words
transformation. Undeniably, the more aged
people
Use synonyms
in a country, the more funds should be allocated to the healthcare system.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a nation might face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pecuniary problems
due to
Linking Words
the
soared
Replace the word
soaring
show examples
healthcare demands required
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
older
people
Use synonyms
. Recent research highlighted
an
Change the article
a
show examples
50%
increase
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
needed money for treating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
Use synonyms
in a country with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
average living age of 80 years compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
with 60 years. Notwithstanding, if a government has enough
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
field, they will be able to manage
this
Linking Words
problem without any baleful outcomes.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is important to consider the disadvantages of
Add an article
an aging
the aging
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population,
such
Linking Words
as an
increase
Use synonyms
in healthcare demands.
However
Linking Words
, the valuable expertise conveyed to the next
generation
Use synonyms
by them is undeniable.
Thus
Linking Words
, I firmly agree that the older
generation
Use synonyms
brings more benefits compared to the drawbacks.
Submitted by fbagheri285 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and avoid introducing new ideas without developing or concluding them adequately.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing skills to help the reader easily follow the progression of your points.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. In your essay, the position is stated, though sometimes overshadowed by less relevant content.
task achievement
To enhance clarity, take care to develop your ideas comprehensively, ensuring the response fully satisfies the requirements of the task.
task achievement
Include specific examples that are fully developed and clearly connected to the argument. While some examples are given, they could be further elaborated to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: