IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your ownknowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #risks #lives #ownknowledge
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Facing risks in search of finding new
oppustunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
requirement
Change to a plural noun
requirements
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 improving life quality;
however
Linking Words
, these risks are not always on our
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
 and the
possibelity
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of losing it all, can
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 many
faital
Correct your spelling
fatal
 problems for risk takers.
Thus
Linking Words
,
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 is crucial to face the risks wisely.
While
Linking Words
 there are negative
pionts
Correct your spelling
points
assosiating
Correct your spelling
associating
association
 with
risking
Replace the word
risk
show examples
, the advantages of risking are definite. The following essay will investigate both
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 drawbacks. There are
Correct article usage
a numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of contributing advantages in regard
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 making dangerous choices.
First,
Linking Words
It can lead to a huge wealth.
For example
Linking Words
, a simple
glimps
Correct your spelling
glimpse
 at the
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 richest people is enough to prove, that in several circumstances they took big
riskds
Correct your spelling
risks
 to make it there. Elon Musk, who is number
one
Use synonyms
 in
wealthiest
Correct article usage
the wealthiest
show examples
 ranking, life grew on two factors,
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and making perilous but wise decisions.
According to
Linking Words
 his speech,
this
Linking Words
 attitude made him the wealthiest person
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Earth. Another reason
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is to
developing
Change the form of the verb
develop
show examples
 your experiences.
One
Use synonyms
 you take the risk
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 life
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not be as same as before, even though you fail. Your failure not only
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
 your personality
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can leave you with a huge
achivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
 and
one
Use synonyms
 is enough to make your
finantial
Correct your spelling
financial
 situation evolve.
In Contrast
Linking Words
, decision
risking
Replace the word
risk
show examples
 is not always
apeal
Correct your spelling
apparent
 to
every
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
one
Use synonyms
, and it
also
Linking Words
coms
Correct your spelling
comes
show examples
 with negative
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
. The most major
one
Use synonyms
 is
probability
Add an article
the probability
a probability
show examples
 of
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
permanintly
Correct your spelling
permanently
. There were lots of
failure
Change to a plural noun
failures
show examples
 that
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 not counted. There is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
speach
Correct your spelling
speech
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 Truman, who was
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
 president in
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
, he said
victory
Add an article
the victory
show examples
 has lots of fathers but failure is orphan. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, there number of reasons in favour,
such
Linking Words
 as improving your wealth or
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
, and against like the disability of recovering after
faliure
Correct your spelling
failure
.
however
Linking Words
,
there
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it is evident that advantages are stronger than disadvantages.
Submitted by anayasinwriting on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is developed and supported with specific detail.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing to make sure each paragraph has a coherent theme and that there is a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Stay focused on the task and ensure that each idea you discuss is relevant to the question, developing it with clear reasoning and appropriate examples where possible.
task achievement
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your response clearer and to demonstrate your language skills.
task achievement
Correct recurring grammatical errors and work on the accuracy of your language use to make your points clearly and effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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