In order to improve a country’s education system, young students should be allowed to openly criticize their teachers during class time. What is your opinion? What are some other ways education systems could be improved?
Many people are of the opinion that in order to improve the information system, recruitment should not criticize their faculty. All people support the idea that the student should not criticize the educator, as
this
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violates the appreciation between the student and the tutor.I will give my personal opinion on that idea.
Body paragraph 1
Allowing open criticism in classes is not a good way to improve the schooling system.
First,
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it leads to the loss of mutual tribute between enlistment and organization.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, the workforce are more important for the next generation and those are the vital man in society, they make society, even if they want to destroy the nation as well.
Body paragraph 3
Moreover
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, admission should follow instructions properly establish peace during lectures and give more dignity.
Body paragraph 4
In addition
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, the cadre will be able to focus on only a few admissions at a time.
thus
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such
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issues can be addressed very well by the faculty.
This
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will improve the quality of our teaching. Each scholar helps the child to get a good teaching and can
also
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give a good culture.
Body paragraph 5
Finally
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, there must be respect between the student and the instructor only
then
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will good learning be a good upbringing.Criticizing will be like insulting .
This
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will hurt the student-lecturer relationship,
as a result
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.
Conclusion
All in all, I want to say criticism is not a solution for implementing a proper study system. Accepting the game of all people, recruitment should never criticize the teacher it affects all circumstances.
marina.parmenova
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure, and the ideas presented are not logically sequenced. It is essential to organize thoughts in a way that allows the reader to understand the progression from one point to the next. A clear introduction, several well-structured body paragraphs, and a succinct conclusion should frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity and effectiveness in stating your position and summarizing the argument. Your introduction should clearly state your opinion on the topic and outline the main points you intend to discuss. The conclusion should effectively summarize these points and reaffirm your stance.
coherence cohesion
Examples and arguments provided to support your points are insufficient. Each main point should be reinforced with specific, relevant examples or explanations. To improve, make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and provide concrete evidence or examples to illustrate your points.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address all parts of the task. While some opinion is offered on the proposed solution, the second question about other ways to improve the education system is neglected. Make sure to address all elements of the prompt fully to achieve a higher score.
task achievement
Ideas presented in the essay lack clarity and are not articulated comprehensively. To enhance the clarity of your ideas, focus on using simple, clear language and ensure each sentence effectively conveys a single, coherent thought. Avoid overly complex or confused sentences that may detract from the comprehensibility of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay fails to include relevant, specific examples to illustrate the points made. To score higher in this area, include detailed examples that directly relate to the ideas being discussed. Examples are crucial for supporting your arguments and demonstrating a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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