IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that spending a lot of money on wedding parties and other celebrations is just a waste. Others, however, think that such events are necessary, so spending money on them is acceptable. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#people #money #parties #celebrations #waste #events
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As of late, it has become a trend to celebrate marriage or other parties largely by spending huge amounts of
money
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. Even 31st Night is now celebrated all over the world with huge advertising. Some individuals think that it is just a waste of
money
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whereas
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 others think that it is a part of
life
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 and it is needed to make it memorable. The aim of
this
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 module is to demonstrate both perspectives and make a final conclusion. Surely I am with the former view. Various reasons work behind wasting
money
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 by celebrating
such
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events
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.
Firstly
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, most
people
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 want to make their
events
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 like marriage
ceremony
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ceremonies
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,
anniversary
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anniversaries
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 or
birthday
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birthdays
show examples
 memorable.
Accordingly
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, they allocate a huge amount of
money
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 to these types of occasions.
For instance
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, one of my uncles arranged for 500
people
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 in the event of their first child's birthday.
Secondly
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, some
events
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 come in
life
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 once like a marriage ceremony so
people
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 try to make it unique.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 who have enough
money
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 to spend always spend more
money
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 on their personal
events
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 to show their
royalty
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loyalty
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 to society. Some
people
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 have in negative view. They are so accountant in their
life
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 and they are not willing to spend
money
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 on these types of ceremonies. They save
money
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 for their unexpected situation rather than spending
money
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 on these
events
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.
As well as
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 they do not want to fall into a financial crisis in their
life
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 so they make a priority list and spend
money
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.
For example
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, they give the most priority to their future generation and save
money
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 to ensure a better quality of
life
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 rather than spending
money
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.
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introduction conclusion present
Establish a clear introduction that outlines the discussion points and also ensure that a distinct conclusion is present, reflecting upon the arguments presented.
logical structure
Clarify the positioning of paragraphs and ensure there is a logical flow from one idea to the next using cohesive devices effectively.
supported main points
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples to effectively convey your arguments.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that both views are discussed and your opinion is clear throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Present clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay to ensure each paragraph forms a coherent part of the overall response.
relevant specific examples
Use a range of relevant examples to support your points, drawing on personal experience or general knowledge to illustrate your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extravagant
  • waste of money
  • financial burden
  • priorities
  • materialistic values
  • unrealistic expectations
  • special occasion
  • celebration
  • strengthening relationships
  • social bonds
  • boosting local economies
  • creating jobs
  • lasting memories
  • financial responsibility
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