In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
It is argued that by working hard,
people
can get what want. The main benefits of this
are individuals will continuously make effort
and Correct article usage
an effort
people
will have higher self-esteem, however
, the key drawbacks are too much emphasis in
hard Change preposition
on
working
and unable to face failures.
Replace the word
work
Firstly
, individuals will be more confidence
Replace the word
confident
of
themselves. If Change preposition
in
people
have succeed
in one of their accomplishments after working hard, they will be sure that the message they were told is correct, and they will be confident to repeat success. Change the verb form
succeeded
Furthermore
, people
will be willing to make more effort. This
is because they know that by working hard they can reach everything, so they will never give up until they achieve it. For example
, many businessmen succeed because they were
sure that by hard Wrong verb form
are
working
they will triumph, even if they Replace the word
work
failed
they will still try until they get it.
The main disadvantage of Wrong verb form
fail
this
message is that some people
will start doubting of
themselves. If they Change preposition
apply
did
not get what they Wrong verb form
do
wanted
even by working hard, they will think that they are not good for anything. Wrong verb form
want
Moreover
, people
will give too much emphasis in
hard Change preposition
on
working
. There are other factors that can affect the achievement, Replace the word
work
such
as the environment in which someone grows up, the family and the place. For instance
, some Chinese people
who live in the mountains, think that they will have a better live
if they study hard, but the reality is, that when they reach a certain age, they will be Replace the word
life
enforced
by their parents to get married and have babies.
In conclusion, the benefits of telling children Verb problem
forced
thay
they can get everything by trying hard is that they will gain confidence and will continuously try, Correct your spelling
that
while
the disadvantages are that people
give too much importance to hard working
and are not able to face their non-fulfilment.Replace the word
work
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction contains a clear thesis statement, outlining the main points that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to effectively organize the essay and show the relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Write a conclusion that neatly summarizes the main points and reiterates the thesis statement.
task achievement
Fully address the prompt by detailing both advantages and disadvantages equally, and ensure that the response is fully developed with clear and comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
Incorporate specific, relevant examples to support main points and make the essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Address the nuances of the statement, acknowledging that while hard work is a factor, success can be influenced by other variables which should also be reflected in your essay.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
