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Band 6.5

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#education #healthcare #government
There is a common belief that the
government
 should fund
education
 and
healthcare
 and it should be provided free for the general public. I completely disagree with
this
 opinion because
education
 and
healthcare
 both are expensive fields of expenses to the
government
 so general people should contribute
according to
 their financial abilities. To start with, as
education
 and
healthcare
 are the most expensive sectors of a state, to ensure an equal distribution for everyone,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealthy people should pay for
education
 and
healthcare
. If
education
 and
healthcare
 become completely free, the
government
 will not be able to bear these huge expenses for its citizens and
therefore
 a state's budget for other sectors will face scarcity.
For example
, in Austria, once the
government
 declared free
healthcare
 for all and
as a consequence
, the country encountered debt to bear the large cost of
healthcare
.
In addition
, if
education
 and
healthcare
fully
Add a missing verb
were fully
show examples
 funded by the
government
, people would not realize the actual value of
education
 and
healthcare
.
Consequently
, they will go to the hospital without any reason or they might not take care of their health because they know when they would get sick, they will get free treatment.
Moreover
, in terms of
education
, free of cost can make the young generation reluctant to receive it. They will not understand the true purpose of
education
.
For instance
, in Canada, tertiary
education
 is high priced which makes the pupils more attentive towards study as it is not free.
To conclude
,
education
 and
healthcare
 should not be free for all rather they should be paid.
Government
 should not bear the burden of
education
 alone
instead
 it can be shared with the public.
State
Add an article
The state
show examples
 is not fully responsible for
education
 and the general public should realize the expenses and value of
education
 and
healthcare
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Task Achievement
It's excellent that you have clearly expressed your disagreement with the statement and provided reasons for your viewpoint. To enhance your response, consider developing your arguments further with more in-depth explanations or additional examples to fully satisfy the task requirement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical flow of ideas. You might further strengthen your coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between your points and more varied use of cohesive devices. This would make your argumentation even more compelling.
Task Achievement
Adding a counter-argument paragraph before concluding could enrich your essay by showing consideration of differing viewpoints, thus demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing your argument well.
Supported Main Points
Your main points are supported with relevant examples, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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