Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage from using their cars?

Over the
last
three decades, there has been a significant increase in the number of people using private
cars
, leading to widespread
traffic
congestion
in many cities worldwide.
This
trend is mainly fueled by the perception of owning a
car
as a symbol of social status. To address
this
issue, governments should focus on improving public
transportation
infrastructure to minimize
traffic
congestion
. The association between private
car
ownership and social status is a common phenomenon, often equated with financial success and stability. In numerous developing countries, owning a
car
is considered a status symbol associated with prosperity, garnering respect from peers even if the
car
is bought on credit.
This
social norm drives more individuals to purchase
cars
, contributing to the growing
congestion
on roads. To combat
this
challenge, governments should prioritize the development of efficient and extensive public
transportation
networks that cater to the entire urban landscape. These
systems
need to be convenient and dependable, enticing people to opt for public transit over private vehicles.
For instance
, Seoul's well-connected subway and bus
systems
offer seamless connectivity across the city, reducing the reliance on personal
cars
. Other cities can replicate
such
initiatives to enhance their public
transportation
systems
and reduce the reliance on
cars
. In conclusion,
although
private
car
ownership is on the rise, it is imperative for governments to address the resulting
traffic
congestion
by investing in effective public
transportation
systems
. By making public transit more attractive, cities can decrease the volume of
cars
on the roads, leading to reduced
traffic
congestion
and a more sustainable urban environment.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
You have done well to cover all parts of the task and provided relevant examples. However, you could develop some points a bit further to enhance clarity and depth, such as discussing additional measures governments might take.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph flows logically from one point to the next. For further improvement, consider using more transitional phrases between main points to enhance readability.
supporting evidence
While your main points are supported effectively, you can strengthen your essay by providing more detailed examples or data to back up your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
organization
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with each paragraph neatly addressing a specific aspect of the question.
examples
You provided relevant examples that illustrate your points, such as the example of Seoul's public transportation system.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your argument, providing a strong end to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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