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Band 4.5

All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #laptop #school
Yes, I do agree with the statement.
Students
 are getting
along with
 technology a lot nowadays. Especially during covid classes for
students
was
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were
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 conducted through virtual mode.
Besides
 a lot of faculties started posting
some
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apply
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tutorials on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 social media websites for
students
 to
reffer
Correct your spelling
refer
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
 Which helps them to understand and explore more about the topic.
This
 is why all
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 should have a
laptop
 when they start high school because all the topics covered by their teachers will not be a piece of cake.
Students
 might face some difficulty in understanding some parts of their lessons. So later seeing a video of the part which is hard for them might be helpful for the
students
 to get a clear vision.
Besides
 it is hard for people to see the screen of a mobile phone for a long time because
its
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of its
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 size. It is preferable to use a
laptop
 so that the
students
 will escape from harming their vision and they will get
a
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apply
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precise knowledge of what they hear and see in the classes taken by the tutor through the video. Many
tution
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tuition
centers
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centres
show examples
 introduced the practice of online and offline
mode
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modes
show examples
 of teaching. Which is more
convienent
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convenient
 for the kids to
adapt
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adopt
show examples
 online coaching. Where they get ample
of
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apply
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time to concentrate more on their studies and
also
 they get
sometime
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some time
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 to spend with their family after school hours.
This
 is why
students
 entering high school should have a
laptop
 to study. Considerably there are many boons and banes in using a
laptop
. But it depends on the person who uses it.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
Even though the essay contains a clear opinion, there is a lack of specific details or examples to fully develop the argument. Try to include demonstrable facts, statistics, or studies that support your stance.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay needs improvement. Introduce your main points in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea with a concluding sentence that links to the next paragraph or the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen coherence, work on the transitions between ideas and ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use a variety of linking words to help guide the reader and enhance the overall cohesion of your text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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