Some older people struggle with use of modern electronic technology such as smartphones and computers. Write the cause and the propose a solution.

Thes
Correct your spelling
These
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days all people
using
Wrong verb form
use
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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and technology.
In
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This
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this
essay
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essay,
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wiil
Correct your spelling
will
illustrate
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
older people
has
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have
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issues
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
technology
ethire
Correct your spelling
there
it
Add a missing verb
is smatphon
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smatphon
Correct your spelling
smartphone
or
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
. All older need
training
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the training
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to know how to use technology in their
life's
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lives
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,
for
example
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example,
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play
Wrong verb form
playing
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tv and
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
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film
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films
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or news ,
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
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easy to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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but need time and
practics
Correct your spelling
practice
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also
smartphone
Correct article usage
a smartphone
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. The Most
reason
Correct word choice
important reason
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to
using
Wrong verb form
use
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older people
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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connected
Change the form of the verb
connect
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to family or
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
.
Submitted by ahoodyaat95 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay lacked a distinct structure, which is critical for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific details and examples. Your essay failed to provide a well-elaborated discussion of the causes or solutions for older people struggling with technology.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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