Some older people struggle with use of modern electronic technology such as smartphones and computers. Write the cause and the propose a solution.

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Thes
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These
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days all people
using
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use
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phone
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phones
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and technology.
In
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This
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this
Linking Words
essay
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essay,
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wiil
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will
illustrate
the
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that
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older people
has
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have
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issues
to use
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using
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technology
ethire
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there
it
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is smatphon
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smatphon
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smartphone
or
computer
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a computer
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. All older need
training
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the training
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to know how to use technology in their
life's
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lives
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,
for
Linking Words
example
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example,
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play
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playing
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tv and
watch
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watching
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film
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films
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or news ,
it
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it is
it was
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easy to use
it
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apply
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but need time and
practics
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practice
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also
Linking Words
smartphone
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a smartphone
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. The Most
reason
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important reason
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to
using
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use
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older people
to
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is to
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connected
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connect
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to family or
friend
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friends
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.
Submitted by ahoodyaat95 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay lacked a distinct structure, which is critical for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific details and examples. Your essay failed to provide a well-elaborated discussion of the causes or solutions for older people struggling with technology.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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