The use of illegal drugs, such as heroin and cocaine, are becoming more and more common in many countries. What are the problems associated with drug abuse, and what are some possible solutions?
It is certainly true that illegal and harmful substances are increasingly being used by
people
who seek for
an easy way to unwind and relieve their stress. There are a number of considerable dangers with Change preposition
apply
regards
to Fix the agreement mistake
regard
this
matter, and various actions can be taken both by governments and individuals to improve the situation. This
essay will discuss negative
aspects of Correct article usage
the negative
drug
abuse and will suggest some solutions to address the problem.
There are several apparent complications related to the popularity of narcotics. The most critical concern is that the use of illegal stimulants and tranquilizers
poses a threat to one’s health. Change the spelling
tranquillizers
This
is due to
the fact that drugs have a negative effect and brain activity, metabolism and other body processes. Furthermore
, an overdose of harmful substances may even be fatal. In fact, some famous people
such
as Marylin Monroe died because of their drug
addiction.
However
, the problem can be fought. The best way to do this
would be to increase people
’s awareness of the dangers related to illegal substances. Although
this
topic is usually considered as
stigmatized, everyone should understand what the hazards are; teachers and parents should not be ashamed of sharing their concerns with youths. Change preposition
apply
Besides
this
, governments should make punishments for drug
manufacturers and dealers harsher. By doing this
, they would deter some people
from getting involved in this
criminal business. Also
, teenagers would be too scared to buy narcotics in
the streets.
In conclusion, it is my opinion that Change preposition
on
drug
addiction can have an adverse effect on the health of society due to
the fact that noxious chemicals have a major bearing on the normal functioning of one’s organism. After analyzing the subject, it has become quite evident that the best approaches to deal with the problem are to educate people
about the related dangers and to make laws more severe. Although
it is impossible to avoid the hazards completely, these are concrete steps that can be taken to reduce the impact of drugs on society.Submitted by santos_dij on
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task achievement
Ensure that you fully develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments. Briefly mentioning a public figure like Marilyn Monroe is not sufficient as a standalone example. Provide more specific illustrations or data where possible.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs. However, transitions between some ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Including more varied and sophisticated transitional phrases can improve this.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. The introduction should more clearly outline the scope of the essay, while the conclusion could provide a more decisive summary of the discussed solutions and their potential efficacy.
task achievement
You've addressed the task given, but ensure that the ideas are not only clear but also comprehensive. The essay would benefit from deeper exploration into the ramifications of drug abuse and more varied solutions.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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