The use of illegal drugs, such as heroin and cocaine, are becoming more and more common in many countries. What are the problems associated with drug abuse, and what are some possible solutions?

#drugs #heroin #cocaine #countries #drug #abuse

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It is certainly true that illegal and harmful substances are increasingly being used by

people

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who seek

for

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apply

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an easy way to unwind and relieve their stress. There are a number of considerable dangers with

regards

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regard

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this

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matter, and various actions can be taken both by governments and individuals to improve the situation.

This

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essay will discuss

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

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aspects of

drug

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abuse and will suggest some solutions to address the problem. There are several apparent complications related to the popularity of narcotics. The most critical concern is that the use of illegal stimulants and

tranquilizers

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tranquillizers

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poses a threat to one’s health.

This

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due to

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the fact that drugs have a negative effect and brain activity, metabolism and other body processes.

Furthermore

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, an overdose of harmful substances may even be fatal. In fact, some famous

people

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such

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as Marylin Monroe died because of their

drug

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addiction.

However

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, the problem can be fought. The best way to do

this

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would be to increase

people

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’s awareness of the dangers related to illegal substances.

Although

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this

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topic is usually considered

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apply

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stigmatized, everyone should understand what the hazards are; teachers and parents should not be ashamed of sharing their concerns with youths.

Besides

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this

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, governments should make punishments for

drug

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manufacturers and dealers harsher. By doing

this

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, they would deter some

people

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from getting involved in

this

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criminal business.

Also

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, teenagers would be too scared to buy narcotics

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show examples

the streets. In conclusion, it is my opinion that

drug

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addiction can have an adverse effect on the health of society

due to

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the fact that noxious chemicals have a major bearing on the normal functioning of one’s organism. After analyzing the subject, it has become quite evident that the best approaches to deal with the problem are to educate

people

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about the related dangers and to make laws more severe.

Although

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it is impossible to avoid the hazards completely, these are concrete steps that can be taken to reduce the impact of drugs on society.

Submitted by santos_dij on Sun Nov 19 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that you fully develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments. Briefly mentioning a public figure like Marilyn Monroe is not sufficient as a standalone example. Provide more specific illustrations or data where possible.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs. However, transitions between some ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. Including more varied and sophisticated transitional phrases can improve this.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. The introduction should more clearly outline the scope of the essay, while the conclusion could provide a more decisive summary of the discussed solutions and their potential efficacy.

task achievement

You've addressed the task given, but ensure that the ideas are not only clear but also comprehensive. The essay would benefit from deeper exploration into the ramifications of drug abuse and more varied solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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The use of illegal drugs, such as heroin and cocaine, are becoming more and more common in many countries. What are the problems associated with drug abuse, and what are some possible solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because of the rising cost of living, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30's. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,...) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Task 2. Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.