All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
technical era, mobile phones , laptops and
such
Linking Words
sophisticated items have
been
Verb problem
become
show examples
more popular among the public.There is an argument that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a free
laptop
Use synonyms
should be given to each student who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
entering
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher
education
Use synonyms
.In my perspective,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
a
laptop
Use synonyms
will be a great privilege in
futher
Correct your spelling
further
education
Use synonyms
. With the advancement of technology , the
education
Use synonyms
system has been changed astonishingly.
For instance
Linking Words
, consider the covid pandemic which turned the whole system
up side
Correct your spelling
upside
show examples
down. With
this
Linking Words
, distance learning was introduced in order to reform the academic gap.we all know that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many students
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fail to accomplish their goals
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of accessibility.
Thus
Linking Words
, if there was any project launched to distribute technical devices vital for academic purposes freely, the result would be much better.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the students who are attending
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher studies need to do references related to their studies , to make
assignment
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
show examples
and projects and many more activities with the use of online facilities too.
Therefore
Linking Words
they all should have a
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
device for these purposes.
However
Linking Words
, adults hold the idea that youth can be misled by these technical devices. But,
asstudents
Correct your spelling
as students
students
of higher
education
Use synonyms
, they should be well-experienced and well-oriented in fruitful utilization of
such
Linking Words
laptops and other devices.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they should gain the maximum support for their
education
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
hence
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
laptop
Use synonyms
is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a crucial source in
Use synonyms
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
system and youth have the knowledge and ability to use them fruitfully
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
their academic purposes, I strongly agree
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
providing
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
laptop
Use synonyms
for students who are entering higher studies.
Submitted by udesudeshikakalpani11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that ideas are logically sequenced and that paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences. Consider using a variety of linking devices to improve cohesion.
task achievement
Address the prompt by responding to the question with a clear opinion and support it with specific reasons and examples. Maintain focus throughout the essay and avoid digressing from the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: