All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #laptop #school

this

technical era, mobile phones , laptops and

such

sophisticated items have

been

Verb problem

become

show examples

more popular among the public.There is an argument that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a free

laptop

should be given to each student who

are

Change the verb form

show examples

entering

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

higher

education

.In my perspective,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that

owing

Correct your spelling

owning

show examples

laptop

will be a great privilege in

futher

Correct your spelling

further

education

. With the advancement of technology , the

education

system has been changed astonishingly.

For instance

, consider the covid pandemic which turned the whole system

up side

Correct your spelling

upside

show examples

down. With

this

, distance learning was introduced in order to reform the academic gap.we all know that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

many students

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fail to accomplish their goals

due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of accessibility.

Thus

, if there was any project launched to distribute technical devices vital for academic purposes freely, the result would be much better.

Moreover

, the students who are attending

Change preposition

apply

show examples

higher studies need to do references related to their studies , to make

assignment

Fix the agreement mistake

assignments

show examples

and projects and many more activities with the use of online facilities too.

Therefore

they all should have a

relavent

Correct your spelling

relevant

device for these purposes.

However

, adults hold the idea that youth can be misled by these technical devices. But,

asstudents

Correct your spelling

as students

students

of higher

education

, they should be well-experienced and well-oriented in fruitful utilization of

such

laptops and other devices.

Therefore

, they should gain the maximum support for their

education

In contrast

hence

Rephrase

apply

show examples

the

laptop

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

a crucial source in

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

system and youth have the knowledge and ability to use them fruitfully

Change preposition

for

show examples

their academic purposes, I strongly agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

providing

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

laptop

for students who are entering higher studies.

Submitted by udesudeshikakalpani11 on Sun Nov 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that ideas are logically sequenced and that paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences. Consider using a variety of linking devices to improve cohesion.

task achievement

Address the prompt by responding to the question with a clear opinion and support it with specific reasons and examples. Maintain focus throughout the essay and avoid digressing from the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that nowadays children have more freedom than previous generations. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

Some people believe that tourists do not learn anything during their holidays, while others believe that they learn a lot. Discuss both sides .

some people that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime

In many countries senior positions have higher salary compare to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree and disagree.