. Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women

this

modern era, a part of society believes that

males

inherit better competitive skills rather than

Females

while

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others reject the notion. Well, I agree with the former view so, I will explain the reasons behind

this

in upcoming paragraphs.

Thus

, will lead to a logical conclusion as well. There are various reasons to support the view and the most prominent one is that

men

have a stronger physical body than

women

which is of great use to lift heavy weight.

Therefore

, most of the construction

as well as

mining

Add an article

the mining

show examples

labour force

is consists

Change the verb form

consists

show examples

of boys over girls.

Furthermore

, it is strongly believed that

men

not only have

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apply

show examples

good physical strength but

also

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have a more rigid mind that helps them to think practically rather than emotionally.

For instance

, In India, the army contains 90

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

males

over only 10

percent

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per cent

show examples

females

Moreover

, at the country's borders, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

women

on duty only the

men

are given border duty to protect the country from enemies.

Therefore

, in

this

competition, ladies can never beat

men

due to

their strong abilities.

However

, with the development of most nations of the globe

females

are no longer dominated by the stronger section of society because

females

are applying for highly qualified jobs

such

as professors, accountants and even though the current president of India is

also

a lady.

Hence

females

are stepping on

males

' games and are trying to give

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tough competition to boys in certain fields.

To conclude

according to

the reasons aforementioned above one can reach to logical conclusion that

men

are ahead in the game of life when compared to

women

but in the present era,

women

are trying to beat

males

in certain jobs.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Sun Nov 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay should have a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Use transitional words and phrases to connect the paragraphs and ideas smoothly. Your essay lacked coherent transitions and clear topic sentences which made it challenging to follow your argument.

task achievement

Make sure to fully address the task. Present a clear opinion and extend your ideas with explanations and examples. While your essay takes a clear position, it would benefit from more developed arguments and a balanced discussion of both sides. Your examples were relevant but not fully developed in supporting your arguments. Consider adding more nuances to your discussion to establish a more comprehensive response.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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. Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children.Do you think advantages outweight disadvantages.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house of building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on their children. What are the reasons for parents doing that? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?

Some people believe that group learning is more beneficial and effective as compared to learning alone. I strongly agree with this view.

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.