IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #aid
Whilst the vast majority of people believe that poor countries require financial aid to thrive,
that is
 not applicable in all cases, and in
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 they might not need any kind of support at all, the support might backfire into tipping the eco-iceberg of the
country
. One story that exemplifies
this
 is the company that sent out clothes to a poor
country
, resulting in tailors from that
country
 losing their source of income, but I digress. The world has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countless
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
issues plaguing society; poverty, hunger, cancer, and many more,
thus
, developed countries should offer medical support and food to those destitute countries that lack the ability to deal with these issues, in order to maintain the integrity and health of its citizens, and to not stir up a crisis that may lead to worsening the
country
's status quo. In retrospect, poverty is not a problem you can throw money at. It takes rigorous work and effort to solve, and as
such
, we must work together to end these problems one by one.
Submitted by mshary2 on

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should set the context and respond directly to the question. Each body paragraph should contain a central idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations, and the conclusion should summarise your views without adding new information.
development
Work on developing clear main points, and support them with specific examples or explanations. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that summarises the paragraph's main idea.
logic
Build on your ideas with logical development and transitions. Your essay needs to flow naturally from one idea to the next, with clear connections that enhance readability and comprehension.
task response
Address all parts of the task. You should discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement, providing arguments and examples for your position. Ensure to stay focused on the topic, without deviating into unrelated areas.
examples
Use relevant examples to illustrate your points. While your essay mentions an anecdote about clothing donations affecting local tailors, more specific details and further examples are needed to effectively support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
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