Some people say tht now we can see films on our phones and tablts there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films, need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both· these,views and give your on .opinion.

Modern technology allows
people
to enjoy
movies
on various
devices
,
such
as
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
and laptops.
While
some
people
suggest
movie
theatres should not exist nowadays, I personally believe the
experience
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
could have in
cinema
could not be replaced by personal
devices
. On the one hand, there is an incremental population of users watching
movies
on personal
devices
for its convenience and resilience in time. Individuals are able to enjoy
films
in pyjamas at home, which not only
safe
Correct your spelling
saves
show examples
them commuting time but various regulations in
movie
theatres.
Moreover
, entertainment commercial institutions
such
as Netflix and Disney continue to elaborate the function to enhance the
experience
of watching
movies
on domestic
devices
.
For instance
, the users are able to pause and save
films
to watch later,
along with
that, non-native users could have a better understanding of foreign
movies
with subtitles.
On the other hand
, I personally agree with those who value the existence of
cinema
due to
several reasons. First of all, cinemas
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
considered as
a social occasions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a social occasion
social occasions
show examples
for friends and couples to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
their leisure time, watching
movies
with classmates or partners are part of vital memories for many
people
which should continue to contribute good
experience
to the younger generation.
Secondly
, the equipment in the
cinema
is more professional than most indoor
devices
which provides more detail of
films
and a better
experience
for the audience.
For example
, 3D glasses and special design chairs could provide a vivid
experience
which makes viewers believe they are actually in the
movie
, on top of that, the interaction with others in the
movies
,
such
as laughing and crying together, could enhance the
participanting
Correct your spelling
participation
. To summarise, some
people
seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
cinema
as outdated
due to
the incremental population of individuals who choose to enjoy
films
at home
due to
many advantages,
however
, in my perspective, the value of
movie
theatres should not be overlooked as a social occasion and to provide a better
experience
of viewing.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Task Achievement
In terms of Task Achievement, while you addressed both views and provided your own opinion, the development of these is quite general. To boost your score, you should aim to explore both sides of the argument with more in-depth analysis and clearer, specific examples that support your points.
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