In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, life expectancy has
been
risen because of well-developed healthcare Unnecessary verb
apply
system
all over the world, which leads to an increase in Fix the agreement mistake
systems
old
population. Some individuals say that Correct article usage
the old
this
issue is bound to cause problems whereas
others like me refute this
view point
. Correct your spelling
viewpoint
This
phenomenon has benefits and drawbacks, however
, this
essay will contend that pros
are more significant than its cons.
The first thing that comes to mind when elderly people Correct article usage
the pros
is
considered is their expenses. The more Correct subject-verb agreement
are
aging
public, the more money should be allocated to pension funds by Change the spelling
ageing
government
. Add an article
the government
Furthermore
, they need more care that
contributes to financial Correct pronoun usage
which
crisis
for insurance institutions in some cases. Fix the agreement mistake
crises
For instance
, noticeable
proportion of Add an article
a noticeable
annual
budget of countries goes for supporting Add an article
the annual
such
institutions, which can be used more efficient
in many ways like developing infrastructures.
Change the word
efficiently
On the other hand
, the fact that higher aged
people as skillful workers Add a hyphen
higher-aged
whom they
have numerous experiences and beneficial attitudes must not be overlooked. Undoubtedly, it takes a long time for the young members of society Correct pronoun usage
who
become
professional, Fix the infinitive
to become
hence
, using skilled workers alongside the young ones is virtually important in order to share abilities that reduces
the cost of training to Change the verb form
reduce
certain
extent. Add an article
a certain
Additionally
, aged people who have the ability of working
after retirement could Replace the preposition
to work
affect
on economy positively, spending more money as Rephrase
positively affect
consumer
that helps the wheels of Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
economy
Add an article
the economy
turning
around without Wrong verb form
turn
trapping
in recession Wrong verb form
being trapped
as well as
doing charitable works.
To sum up
, apart from financial liabilities for government
, the old group of Add an article
the government
public
are tremendously advantageous Add an article
the public
due to
their valuable experiences of working and the economic effects they have. Therefore
, the pros of this
issue outweigh the cons.Submitted by amansoore48 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with supporting sentences that directly relate to the key topic. Avoid straying from the main argument or introducing unrelated information.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This helps establish a stronger line of argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction directly addresses the question and states your position clearly. The conclusion should effectively summarise the main points supporting that position.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that you cover both the advantages and disadvantages equally and explain why one outweighs the other. Balance is key to a well-developed response.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas that are fully elaborated. Explore the implications and consequences in more detail to deepen the analysis of each point.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your essay by providing concrete evidence to illustrate your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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