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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Being a useful
member
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 of
society
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 is a concept which should be
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
 to
children
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 either by
parents
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 or
school
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. Some people consider
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parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
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responsibilities
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responsibility
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 to do it,
while
Linking Words
 others think
school
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 is
in
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apply
show examples
the place to teach suitable
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manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
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 to
children
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 I discuss
on
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apply
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this
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 topic in
this
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 essay and
finally
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 represent my own viewpoint.
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From
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Since
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From
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 their birthday,
parents
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 are responsible people for
breeding
Verb problem
raising
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 their
children
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 until
starting
Wrong verb form
they start
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 education at
school
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Change preposition
at
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for
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at
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 6 years
.
Correct word choice
old.
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According to
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 psychology science,
this
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 period makes
real
Add an article
the real
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 personality of
children
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 .
Therefore
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, teaching suitable
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manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
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 to
children
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 is considered
as
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a
show examples
 significant duty of
parents
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 who have brought their
children
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 on the earth.
Personality
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The personality
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 of a human determines his/her manners. so, any bad
behavior
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behaviour
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 of
parents
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 results in personality
disorder
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disorders
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of
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in
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children
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.
Parents
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 should teach good
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 to their
children
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 to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
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member
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members
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 of
society
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 . there are many ways for them to do
this
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 duty.
For example
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,
parents
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 should encourage their
children
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 to like their friends and play with each other
through
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by
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 avoiding fighting or cursing.
Also
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,
parents
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 should teach politeness and
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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 should live among others, he/she should be able to communicate politely are respectfully, and
flexible
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a flexible
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manner
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 is necessary in
this
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 field.
On the other hand
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,
school
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 is an educational
center
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centre
show examples
where
Correct word choice
that
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 all people start going there
since
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in
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 childhood.
Children
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pass
Verb problem
spend
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 half of a day at
school
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for
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apply
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learning science and moral
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manner
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manners
show examples
.
Teachers
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poses
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pose
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 special social positions among
students
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.
Therefore
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, their
manner
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 and speeches influence significantly on
children
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, even more than
parents
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.
Teachers
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 should induce correct manners
to
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in
show examples
students
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 at
school
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.
For example
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,
teachers
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 should teach thinking
skill
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skills
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 to
students
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 to enable them
make
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to make
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 correct
decision
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decisions
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 and
solving
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solve
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 their problems by themselves. If
students
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 learn
Correct article usage
the correct
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correct
Correct article usage
the correct
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 thinking
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methods
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method
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methods
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, they do not make
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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problem
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problems
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 for others.
In addition
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, they do not fear because they are hopeful and continue their way
until
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to
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 success.
Teachers
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 should teach
students
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identifying
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to identify
show examples
 their purposes and
planning
Wrong verb form
plan
show examples
 to reach them. In conclusion, I think both
of
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apply
show examples
parents
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 and
teachers
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 at
school
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 are responsible for teaching correct manners and thinking to
children
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 to enable them to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
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member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
in
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of
show examples
 their
society
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. Talking does not work, but teaching suitable skills
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
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 on thinking system of
students
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 and
enable
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enables
show examples
 them to act correctly in
society
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 which results in being a good
member
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in
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of
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 who loves humankind and
help
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helps
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 them and
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
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 and
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
 well with them.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, main body (discussing each view), and conclusion. Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Content should fully address the task, ensuring that both views and your own opinion are covered comprehensively. Ideas should be clear, extended, and supported by relevant examples or experiences.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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