Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The social concerns today relate to nationally
effectuate
Replace the word
effective
show examples
awards in intercontinental
sports
.
While
it is widely believed that constructing specialized apparatus for
athletes
to
practice
, others argue that creating
sports
spaces for everybody to
use
. In my opinion, I think
this
statement above is a negative development. On the one hand, it is argued that countries should build up
facilities
to coach players. The main reason is that the
athletes
need area and equipment to serve for their exercises .It is
also
possible to say that they are the ones who compete and bring prizes back to the country so we can see those
facilities
are the opportunity for them to achieve goals. One good illustration of
this
is after a contest , every jock demands to have a space for
practice
for the next one . Another reason is to create a chance for those who are interested in
sports
and they have the ability to pass the test .
For example
,some
people
have swimming talent
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but don’t have coaches and a swimming pool to upgrade their competence. So specialized
facilities
are the best solutions for them .
On the other hand
, it is strongly believed by others that nations need to create a
sports
area for all citizens to
use
.
People
often have
this
opinion because humans
also
want to improve their health by doing exercise. Recently, there have been a lot of sicknesses that are caused by not having a good motive frequency. So
people
really care about themselves, especially to avoid disease . The second point is that if we just focus on providing
facilities
for top
athletes
, there will be no more occasion for everyone to
practice
. A particularly good example here is when citizens want to go to gyms or yoga, it is harder to find a place because almost all
facilities
are spent on training players . In conclusion,it is commonly thought that the government should build specialized areas for
athletes
to upgrade their skills ; meanwhile, others assume that humans
also
need
sports
facilities
for
use
every day. Personally, I tend to believe that the country must create more
sports
places for
people
convenience to
use
and
athletes
also
can
practice
here.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The main points should be elaborated with more specific, relevant examples to strengthen your argument and provide deeper insights.
Task Achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task. Your essay should provide a more comprehensive response that fully covers the prompt, including a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal opinion.
Task Achievement
Work on developing and expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively to enhance the quality of the essay.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant, detail-specific examples to substantiate your points, as this would contribute to a more persuasive and credible argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
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