IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

International visitros to New Zealand: transport used during visit

#visitros #zealand #transport #visit
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The chart gives information about what
transport
Use synonyms
 used during
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
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 of International
Visitors
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 to
NewZeaLand
Correct your spelling
NewZealand
Car
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 is the most common means of
transport
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 that international
visitors
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used
Wrong verb form
use
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 during
Add an article
a visit
the visit
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visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
 to New
Use synonyms
ZeaLand
Correct your spelling
Zealand
.The percentage of
that is
Linking Words
 69
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
visitors
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 prefer to
use
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 private
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transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 to public
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transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 The highest percentage, 69
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
show examples
 go to
NewZeaLand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
 by
car
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.
First,
Linking Words
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
visitors
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the visitors
show examples
 like driving
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Add an article
a car
the car
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 to New
Use synonyms
ZeaLand
Correct your spelling
Zealand
 or
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
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 because it makes them more independent so They prefer to
use
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 private
transport
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 to public
transport
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.
Second,
Linking Words
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
using
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private
Correct article usage
a private
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car
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 help them save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money,
for example
Linking Words
 , when
family
Correct article usage
a family
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 have a journey to New
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ZeaLand
Correct your spelling
Zealand
, travel by
car
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 saves more money than travel by public
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transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
.Another reason is comfortable for
car
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user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
,
visitors
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 can go anywhere they want and the journey will take them through many landscapes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
visitors
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 can’t afford the ticket of public
transport
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 so they used to go by
car
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. The lower group is public
transport
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such
Linking Words
 as
plane
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planes
show examples
,
coach
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coaches
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,
trane
Correct your spelling
train
Trane
,
Correct word choice
and boat
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boat
Fix the agreement mistake
boats
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.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 small number of
people
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 like going to New
Use synonyms
ZeaLand
Correct your spelling
Zealand
 by public
transport
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.
First,
Linking Words
visitors
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 like to
use
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 public
transport
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 because it’s convenient .
Second,
Linking Words
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use
Wrong verb form
using
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 public
transport
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will be
Wrong verb form
is
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 better than private
transport
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 for some
people
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 because it can commune a long distance,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 to HoChiMinh
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 from
HaNoi
Correct your spelling
Hanoi
 Capital only takes them 2 hours by plane.Another reason is
use
Use synonyms
 public
Use synonyms
Transports
Fix the agreement mistake
Transport
show examples
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 a hobby
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
,
it’s
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
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 feeling for
visitors
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct word choice
and visitors
show examples
 don’t need to do anything until arrive
NewZeaLand
Correct your spelling
at New Zealand
. In conclusion, most
people
Use synonyms
 will choose private
transport
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
over
show examples
 public
Use synonyms
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 because it’s independent,
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 money and
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 feeling for
user
Add an article
the user
show examples
.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear organizational structure. Pivotal elements such as a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion should be distinctly outlined. Use of cohesive devices and clear paragraphing would strengthen the coherence.
task achievement
The response partially addresses all parts of the task. You will need to expand on the reasons for visitors' preferences and include more detailed support and examples. Make sure your essay directly pertains to the given information on transportation in New Zealand, rather than including irrelevant details, such as the example about traveling from Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh City.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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