Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #music #cultures #ages

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It is argued that the best way of connecting individuals from different

ages

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and

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

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is by

music

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This

Linking Words

essay completely agrees with

this

Linking Words

statement because

music

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is a global language and

people

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from different places can have the same taste.

Music

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is an international language,

everyone

Correct word choice

and everyone

show examples

can understand it.

This

Linking Words

is because musicians are able to express different emotions through the melody of songs or instruments, even the simplest feelings of happiness and sadness.

People

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from different countries and

ages

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have the same meaning for these feelings. So,

although

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they might not understand the lyrics,

people

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are able to differentiate if it is a sad or happy song.

For example

Linking Words

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in a

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recent survey done in China,

people

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listened to

music

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from different countries and should tell what the song wanted to convey, and approximately 80% of

people

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got it right.

People

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can have the same tastes in

music

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This

Linking Words

is because there is not a strict differentiation between

music

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that one culture or

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

should listen

, or

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to, or

show examples

one age or another should listen

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to.

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People

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can perfectly like the same thing even if

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

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are from different

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

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or nations. So

music

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is a way of bringing individuals together, no matter their religions, cultures or

ages

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, but what they like.

For instance

Linking Words

, many

Kpop

Correct your spelling

K-pop

fans can vary from children from 10 years to adults of 50 years old, and they can perfectly be friends because they like the same celebrity or

music

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type. In conclusion,

music

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is an international language and individuals from different places or

ages

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can like the same type of

music

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and

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apply

show examples

therefore

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, believe that

music

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can relate

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people

Change preposition

to people

show examples

from different cultures and

ages

Use synonyms

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Mon Nov 20 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point, followed by an adequate explanation, and where appropriate, examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of appropriately transitioning between ideas, paragraphs, and sentences to maintain a natural flow in your writing.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the prompt, developing your position with a clear opinion and varied sentence structure for higher marks.

task achievement

Include specific examples to support your arguments. While hypothetical or general examples can be helpful, real-life anecdotes tend to be more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

As computers and technology develop, they can be used to teach children and teachers won’t be necessary soon. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Teenagers should have regular exams at secondary school, as this will prepare them better for life after leaving school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?