Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is argued that the best way of connecting individuals from different

ages

and

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

is by

music

This

essay completely agrees with

this

statement because

music

is a global language and

people

from different places can have the same taste.

Music

is an international language,

everyone

Correct word choice

and everyone

show examples

can understand it.

This

is because musicians are able to express different emotions through the melody of songs or instruments, even the simplest feelings of happiness and sadness.

People

from different countries and

ages

have the same meaning for these feelings. So,

although

they might not understand the lyrics,

people

are able to differentiate if it is a sad or happy song.

For example

Change preposition

in a

show examples

recent survey done in China,

people

listened to

music

from different countries and should tell what the song wanted to convey, and approximately 80% of

people

got it right.

People

can have the same tastes in

music

This

is because there is not a strict differentiation between

music

that one culture or

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

should listen

, or

Change preposition

to, or

show examples

one age or another should listen

Change preposition

to.

show examples

People

can perfectly like the same thing even if

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are from different

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

or nations. So

music

is a way of bringing individuals together, no matter their religions, cultures or

ages

, but what they like.

For instance

, many

Kpop

Correct your spelling

K-pop

fans can vary from children from 10 years to adults of 50 years old, and they can perfectly be friends because they like the same celebrity or

music

type. In conclusion,

music

is an international language and individuals from different places or

ages

can like the same type of

music

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

therefore

, believe that

music

can relate

people

Change preposition

to people

show examples

from different cultures and

ages

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Mon Nov 20 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point, followed by an adequate explanation, and where appropriate, examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of appropriately transitioning between ideas, paragraphs, and sentences to maintain a natural flow in your writing.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the prompt, developing your position with a clear opinion and varied sentence structure for higher marks.

task achievement

Include specific examples to support your arguments. While hypothetical or general examples can be helpful, real-life anecdotes tend to be more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having one language in the world?
Nowadays, English becomes more and more prominent language in the world due to the development of tourism. While some people believe that this will lead to English becoming the only language in the world to be spoken globally, others think that this may simplify the international communication and lead to better understanding in general. In my opinion, the more you know the better, however, it is important to save and continue using all languages.
6.5
band
The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having one language in the world?
It is thought by some people that English, which is now the most widely spoken language in the world, may one day predominate over all other languages and result in their eventual disappearance. Having one language would certainly aid understanding and economic growth but there will also be some drawbacks.
5.5
band
Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film stars and company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work they do. How far do you agree or disagree?
It is quite evident in today's era that there is a growing earnings gap among various occupations. It has been felt by many people that certain roles are not paid reasonable remuneration in proportion to the type and quality of work they do in relation to the other occupations. This essay will outline both viewpoints and also explain why such excessive salary is utterly unjustifiable for celebrities and CEOs.
7.5
band
It is suggested that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work, helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the young people?
Nowadays, unpaid community service for young adults has been proposed as a means to instil social responsibility. This initiative comes with drawbacks such as financial constraints and a potential lack of motivation among participants. However, these challenges bring a main benefit, including valuable experience for young adults which increases community support. This essay will explain both sides and then give my opinion.
4.5
band
Some people think the government is responsible for rise in childhood obesity, while other think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
A Health problems like overweight, lungs problem and many more in young children’S are ramping these days some think that law plays great role in it but on other hand some believes that it is fault of the parents. According to me both play equal role in it.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having one language in the world?

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having one language in the world?

It is suggested that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work, helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the young people?

Some people think the government is responsible for rise in childhood obesity, while other think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.