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Band 1.5

Describes the two charts about girls and boys's activity

#two #girls #boys #activity
These two
graphas
Correct your spelling
graphs
 show us the result of a survey on cultural and leisure activities performed by boys and girls, respectively. A large number of boys
loves
Correct subject-verb agreement
love
show examples
 basketball,
whereas
, the majority of girls engage themselves in reading. Listening to music,
instead
, is an activity which attracts both genders equally. As we look at the first graph, we notice that reading is the least preferred by boys,
whereas
, computer games are the most loved, more than one
third,
followed by basketball, played by 26%. Soccer and skateboarding represent respectively 17% and 11% of all sports.
On the other hand
, the chart that represents females marks dancing, 27% the most loved activity, followed by reading, 21%.
Differently
Add a comma
Differently,
show examples
 as it is often thought, an important percentage of girls
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 computer games, exactly 16%, a little more than netball.
Finally
, gymnastics and listening to music are the least
follow
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 leisure time activities
Submitted by syedbasat on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you structure your essay effectively, starting with an introduction, followed by individual paragraphs for each graph, and ending with a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You should include an introductory sentence to introduce the topic and briefly explain what the charts are about, then conclude the essay with a summary or an analysis comparing the two genders.
task achievement
Develop each paragraph with specific details from the graphs. Compare and contrast the activities in both graphs to provide a comprehensive analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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