IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to?

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Some people argue giving
punishment
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
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 is the
right
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 thing to do to teach them
responsibly
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responsibility
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 in the early days, but
some
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apply
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others do not support the idea of it. Giving the
right
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 amount of
punishment
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 would certainly make
children
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to
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apply
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differentiate between
right
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 and wrong, and I believe that action will
be benefitting
Wrong verb form
benefit
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 the
children
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 even more in their
adolesence
Correct your spelling
adolescence
 or even adulthood. On the
one
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 hand, providing a reward for doing the
right
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 things
besides
Linking Words
punishment
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 for the
wrong doing
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wrongdoing
show examples
,
it
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apply
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makes
children
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 even more motivated to avoid the bad and eager for the good
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one
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ones
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. It is like
analogy
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an analogy
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a
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of a
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carrot and
whip
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a whip
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. If they are doing what they are told to do, the parents or teachers let
children
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having
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have
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 a carrot.
Otherwise
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, they have to accept a whip in any type of
treatments
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treatment
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such
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 as
Correct article usage
a restric
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restric
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restrict
 number of
candy
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candies
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 that they can consume
in
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on
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 any given
days
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day
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 ahead.
On the other hand
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,
punishment
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 could leave
children
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 with
a
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apply
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trauma and that leads even making them uncontrollable about what they should do. If
that is
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 the case, parenting should be the
one
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 to make it straight about the
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children
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children's
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 standpoints and prevent
children
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doing
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from doing
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further
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 about what they must not do. Giving a lesson from the story before sleep,
for example
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, can be
one
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 of the parenting
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
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 to teach their
children
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 to
distinct
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distinguish
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 between
right
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 and wrong
such
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 as
superhero
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in superhero
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 and villain
story
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stories
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. In conclusion, I do support the notion
of
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that
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 giving
punishment
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 will
give
Verb problem
teach
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children
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 a lesson to differentiate between
right
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 and wrong and it certainly has a benefit for the long-term period in
adolesence
Correct your spelling
adolescence
 or even adulthood.
Besides
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, giving them a reward for obeying what they are told to do
also
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 can be a complement to
implement
Wrong verb form
implementing
show examples
 the
punishtment-method
Correct your spelling
punishment method
.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear logical structure throughout. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea and use a range of cohesive devices appropriately.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introductions should be clear, providing an overview of the main points to be discussed. Your conclusion should effectively summarize your position, without introducing new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or further explanation to strengthen your argument. Avoid general statements and focus on providing clear and relevant supporting details.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task to ensure a fully developed response. Clarify your position and ensure that your ideas are developed throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Express your ideas clearly, ensuring that each paragraph contains a comprehensive and easily understandable argument or perspective related to the essay topic.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Examples help to illustrate and reinforce your ideas, making your argument more persuasive. Be sure they are relevant to the topic and the point you are making.
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