Many countries are experiencing population growth and need more homes. Should these new homes be built in existing cities or should new towns be built in the countryside
The overpopulation
is one of the most essential global problems. Correct article usage
Overpopulation
Although
Covid-19
influenced birth rates significantly in many countries, the problem Correct your spelling
COVID-19
with
the lack of houses still exists. Change preposition
of
Therefore
, let us find feet of the mentioned problem.
Personally, I consider that real
estate industry in Russia Correct article usage
the real
mainly
controlled and monitored by Add a missing verb
is mainly
government
. Add an article
the government
That is
why the Bank Dom.RF was created and that is
why our government spend
Wrong verb form
spent
billion
Fix the agreement mistake
billions
rubles
for subsidies for young families and for developing far Russian regions. Generally, they encourage Change preposition
of rubles
people
to buy new flats and stimulate developers to build more and more. In fact
general public Add a comma
fact,
choose
where our country will be constructed better. Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
Thus
, Moscow and Saint-Petersburg are the main emerging real estate markets with the highest accommodation prices. It is clear that
citizens want to live in big cities, but it is highly important to maintain their demand no matter in which regions or district
they prefer to buy houses.
Fix the agreement mistake
districts
However
, there is an opposite point of view locals
the Change preposition
of locals
last
thing that locals want is urbanization because it produces traffic jams, chords of office plankton and other disadvantages of crowded cities. Thus
, it would be great to redirect people
to the countryside. It is not enough to build up a
one metro station every year, Correct article usage
apply
people
need to breathe more freely, but how they can do it when Moscow
population increases from year to yearChange noun form
Moscow's
.
All in all, it needs to be said that Change the punctuation
?
people
have a right to choose, so it does not matter where they buy apartments. However
, people
also
ought to take into account interests
of local citizens. Live as you should and come what mayCorrect article usage
the interests
Submitted by shebanovsergey938 on
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Introduction/Conclusion
The essay needs a more clearly articulated introduction and conclusion that distinctly present the topic and summarize the main points of discussion.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of the essay could be improved by organizing the ideas into clear, distinct paragraphs, each centered around a single main point.
Supporting Points
While providing examples, make sure to explicitly link them back to the main question and explain how they support your ideas.
Task Response
Address the task directly by ensuring that your position on whether to build in existing cities or new towns is clear and maintained throughout the essay.
Coherence/Cohesion
Improve clarity and progression of ideas by using a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.