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Band 5.5

Some people think that robots are very important to human’s future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #robots #human’s #future #development #effects #society
People believe that automation can cause risks and have disadvantages for the community,
while
 some think that they are pretty essential to them in future.
This
 is because there have been immense advances in technology.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of a controversial issue, and my opinion will be provided. Advocates of
this
 proposition believe that technological development is an inevitable aspect of human progress, particularly for education which assists students. Nowadays, a number of students
use
robots
 to achieve their
work
.
For example
, some
use
 them to write essays and they can just produce commands to make it.
Moreover
, some
use
 artificial intelligence for drawing a picture whether portrait, cartoon, and view.
On the other hand
, those opposed to the idea argue that people who
use
robots
 cannot improve their ability because they do not obtain practice, and when they grow up into adults, they are unable to
work
 to be good enough.
Furthermore
 , artificial intelligence brings about a decrease in the employment rate.
For instance
, many companies apply
robots
 to
work
 for them as robotic
work
 is more accurate compared to human actions.
Whereas
 people think that artificial intelligence causes unpleasant approaches
such
 as learning and being creative,
in contrast
, many feel that
this
 is an unavoidable situation as
such
 adapt to them. It is my opinion that these negative long-term effects greatly outweigh the short-term benefits that
robots
 can bring to our everyday lives.
Submitted by champperkhu on

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coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure; organize ideas in a more coherent manner with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint and a separate conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more defined and clear. Introduce the topic and briefly outline your perspective in the introduction. Conclude with a summary of the discussion and restate your opinion.
task achievement
Your essay needs to be more comprehensive in presenting both sides of the argument. Provide a balanced discussion with equal development for each viewpoint before giving your opinion.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This helps illustrate your ideas and makes your argument more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Automation
  • Technological advancements
  • Workforce displacement
  • Ethical considerations
  • Innovation
  • Labor market
  • Safety protocols
  • Machine learning
  • Human-robot interaction
  • Economic impact
  • Job creation
  • Cybersecurity
  • Autonomous
  • Precision
  • Dependency
  • Regulation
  • Risk assessment
  • Adaptation
  • Unemployment
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