These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#phones #internet #people #development

In the modern era, society is getting connected more socially via Internet and the cellular devices.

According to

my viewpoint, there are more advantages over disadvantages of these

gudgets

Correct your spelling

gadgets

budgets

Thus

, I will explain the reasons behind

this

in upcoming paragraphs and will lead to a logical conclusion as well. There are various reasons to support my view, but the most prominent one is that mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

and

wi-fi

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Wi-Fi

show examples

are the only ways of communication across the world.

However

, letters can

also

be used to communicate around the globe but, it might take a week

for processing

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to process

show examples

letter

Correct article usage

a letter

show examples

overseas. To elucidate, it is

very

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a very

show examples

common trend nowadays, that students from India,

Phillipians

Correct your spelling

Philippians

and China are going to Canada, Australia or New Zeland for their higher studies, as these nations are really far from each other

then

audio or

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video call is the only way left for talking to their parents.

Furthermore

, various mobile apps

such

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

, Instagram

Correct word choice

and

show examples

snapchat

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Snapchat

show examples

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

the

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apply

show examples

youngsters to meet different kinds of individuals

accross

Correct your spelling

across

the earth and make a breakthrough regarding their culture

along with

their moral values. Well,

this

could generate a spark in

young

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the young

show examples

generation's mind and

helps

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help

show examples

them to

excile

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excel

exile

in their future goals. Needless to

say

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say,

show examples

all these merits stand in

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apply

show examples

good stead. On the

otherside

Correct your spelling

other hand

, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments and the most alarming one is that in certain cases youth might start ignoring their studies spending their whole time in cloud computing. Chatting with friends on

not so important

Add a hyphen

not-so-important

show examples

issues, which in future may affect their grades and the

deterimental

Correct your spelling

detrimental

effects can be that they end up ruining their

carriers

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careers

show examples

while

making new connections.

Hence

, it is

apparant

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apparent

why many are against

this

trend.

To conclude

according to

the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach

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apply

show examples

a logical conclusion that the benefits of mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

and

internet

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the internet

show examples

are instrumental indeed.

Nevertheless

, its

potentional

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potential

drawbacks should not be overlooked either.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Mon Nov 20 2023

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Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction should succinctly state the topic, convey the scope of the essay, and present a clear thesis statement. Although the overall position is understandable, the introduction should explicitly outline the main advantages and disadvantages that will be discussed to provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.

Main Body & Development

While some main ideas are present, they should be more clearly introduced and developed. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples to elaborate on the main idea. Aim to include relevant, specific examples that effectively demonstrate the point being made.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that the overall structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow. Use cohesive devices appropriately to logically connect ideas within and across paragraphs, and maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout your response.

Task Response

Task response involves addressing all parts of the task with sufficient detail. Make sure to address how the advantages may outweigh the disadvantages and provide a balanced view if possible. Additionally, directly respond to the task prompt and ensure full development of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In the last century the first man to walk on the moon said it was a great step for mankind . But in fact space travel has made little difference to most people lives today . To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

with the development of social media more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends, which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?