These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the modern era, society is getting connected more socially via Internet and the cellular devices.
According to
my viewpoint, there are more advantages over disadvantages of these
gudgets
Correct your spelling
gadgets
budgets
.
Thus
, I will explain the reasons behind
this
in upcoming paragraphs and will lead to a logical conclusion as well. There are various reasons to support my view, but the most prominent one is that mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
and
wi-fi
Capitalize word
Wi-Fi
show examples
are the only ways of communication across the world.
However
, letters can
also
be used to communicate around the globe but, it might take a week
for processing
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to process
show examples
letter
Correct article usage
a letter
show examples
overseas. To elucidate, it is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
common trend nowadays, that students from India,
Phillipians
Correct your spelling
Philippians
and China are going to Canada, Australia or New Zeland for their higher studies, as these nations are really far from each other
then
audio or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
video call is the only way left for talking to their parents.
Furthermore
, various mobile apps
such
as
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
, Instagram
or
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and
show examples
snapchat
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Snapchat
show examples
helps
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help
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
youngsters to meet different kinds of individuals
accross
Correct your spelling
across
the earth and make a breakthrough regarding their culture
along with
their moral values. Well,
this
could generate a spark in
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation's mind and
helps
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help
show examples
them to
excile
Correct your spelling
excel
exile
in their future goals. Needless to
say
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say,
show examples
all these merits stand in
a
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apply
show examples
good stead. On the
otherside
Correct your spelling
other hand
, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments and the most alarming one is that in certain cases youth might start ignoring their studies spending their whole time in cloud computing. Chatting with friends on
not so important
Add a hyphen
not-so-important
show examples
issues, which in future may affect their grades and the
deterimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
effects can be that they end up ruining their
carriers
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careers
show examples
while
making new connections.
Hence
, it is
apparant
Correct your spelling
apparent
why many are against
this
trend.
To conclude
,
according to
the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach
to
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apply
show examples
a logical conclusion that the benefits of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
are instrumental indeed.
Nevertheless
, its
potentional
Correct your spelling
potential
drawbacks should not be overlooked either.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction should succinctly state the topic, convey the scope of the essay, and present a clear thesis statement. Although the overall position is understandable, the introduction should explicitly outline the main advantages and disadvantages that will be discussed to provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
Main Body & Development
While some main ideas are present, they should be more clearly introduced and developed. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples to elaborate on the main idea. Aim to include relevant, specific examples that effectively demonstrate the point being made.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the overall structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow. Use cohesive devices appropriately to logically connect ideas within and across paragraphs, and maintain a clear progression of ideas throughout your response.
Task Response
Task response involves addressing all parts of the task with sufficient detail. Make sure to address how the advantages may outweigh the disadvantages and provide a balanced view if possible. Additionally, directly respond to the task prompt and ensure full development of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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