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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#process #water #electricity #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The picture shows the process where
water
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 to produce electrical power. The
proccess
Correct your spelling
process
 begins when seawater is heated by the sun and happening evaporation, appearing clouds in the sky.
Next,
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 clouds
turns
Change the verb form
turn
show examples
 into rainy clouds and
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 the rain. After, rain
gathered
Wrong verb form
gathers
show examples
 at
reservoir
Add an article
the reservoir
show examples
 and through
Correct article usage
the dam
show examples
dam
Add a comma
dam,
show examples
 it goes to
turbine
Correct article usage
the turbine
show examples
. In
turbine
Correct article usage
the turbine
show examples
,
water
Use synonyms
 pressure converts to electricity and it goes through high voltage cables to
transformer
Correct article usage
the transformer
show examples
 station. With the help of underground
cables
Add a comma
cables,
show examples
 electricity goes to houses, factories and hospitals/schools. The
water
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
the trubine
show examples
trubine
Correct your spelling
turbine
directed
Add a missing verb
is directed
show examples
 to a pump where it will
returned
Change the verb form
return
show examples
 to
reservoir
Add an article
the reservoir
show examples
 again.
Overall
Linking Words
, hydroelectric power is generated using
water
Use synonyms
 from the sea and after
procuderes
Correct your spelling
procedures
 which consists of ten stages, which
at the end
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 returns to the reservoir.
Submitted by shakhzodbek.bakhtiyorov on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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