IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In recent years, the operation of big corporations
is
Wrong verb form
has become
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 ubiquitous in developing nations. The essay will first suggest that economic growth is the prime benefit,
while
Linking Words
 the excessive use of emergent nations’ natural
resources
Use synonyms
 is the main drawback. One evident benefit of the operation of transitional
companies
Use synonyms
 in less developed countries is the prosperity of the local economy.
That is
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 to say,
multination
Correct your spelling
multinational
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companies
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 provide an inflow of capital into developing countries.
This
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 investment not only creates job opportunities for the people in developing nations, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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also
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 helps to build better infrastructure,
such
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 as bridges, roads, and transportation facilities, for them.
For example
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, the role of Foreign Direct Investment in the year 2010 was undeniable because it uplifted the Indian economy so fast
and
Correct word choice
apply
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increased GDP and created so many jobs for locals. The prime disadvantage is that these
companies
Use synonyms
 use the natural
resources
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 of developing nations recklessly, which affects the environment.
In other words
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, Smaller, less developed governments often trade an increase in revenue for access to natural
resources
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.
This
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 extraction of raw materials,
such
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 as oil, diamond, rubber and fuel, can cause environmental externalities- polluted rivers and loss of natural landscape.
For instance
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, many Chinese private enterprises have been heavily criticised for using the
resources
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 of countries like Vietnam, Thailand and the
Philippine
Correct your spelling
Philippines
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 and for polluting the environment. In conclusion, huge global
companies
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 benefit less developed
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 economically is the prime advantage of
this
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, and the extraction of raw materials for the sake of profit is the main disadvantage.

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coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is clear, but there could be a better logical progression of ideas. There seems to be abrupt jumps between points without clear, cohesive transitions. Ensure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next by using a wider range of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but simplistic. The introduction could better paraphrase the question and outline the specific advantages and disadvantages to be discussed. The conclusion can be expanded to more effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Supporting main points with examples and explanations are well done, yet you could improve by incorporating a wider range of examples. More specific, detailed examples would strengthen the arguments presented and make each point more convincing.
task achievement
The response to the task is adequate but lacks depth. Both advantages and disadvantages are addressed, but the response could have elaborated further on these points, perhaps by including more examples or a deeper analysis to fully address the prompt.
task achievement
Ideas are clear but could be expressed more comprehensively. Aim to develop each point further by providing more nuanced explanations and exploring the implications of these points in greater detail. This will help provide a richer, more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Examples used are relevant, but specificity and detail are lacking. Including more precise data or case studies would enhance the strength of your arguments and provide a more convincing analysis of the advantages and disadvantages.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Multinational corporations (MNCs)
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Developing economies
  • Infrastructure development
  • Capacity building
  • Cultural diversity
  • Sustainability
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Technological transfer
  • Economic disparity
  • Market saturation
  • Brain drain
  • Indigenous industries
  • Expatriate management
  • Trade imbalance
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