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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table data below shows the top ten Internet users by country in 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The table data below shows the top ten Internet users by country in 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The table depicts information about the number of
internet
Use synonyms
 users who used it from ten different nationalities over the period of
year
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
 (2016) After
Correct your spelling
analysis
ananlysis
Correct your spelling
analysis
, the highest
Use synonyms
internet
Correct quantifier usage
number of internet
show examples
user
Use synonyms
 from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had
major
Add an article
a major
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 ratio of 92 % making a total of 65million of
population
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the population
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whereas
Linking Words
, japan
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had the second highest figure in percentage staying at 91% generating 1
billion
Use synonyms
internet
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
however
Linking Words
, there was a negligible difference between USA and
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
 having 88% each making
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
traffic of 3
billion
Use synonyms
 and 80 million
moreover
Linking Words
, for
russia
Change the capitalization
Russia
show examples
 the percentile number of
Use synonyms
user
Add an article
a user
show examples
 is less than USA with 71% in total attracting 1
billion
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
user
Add an article
the user
a user
show examples
 towards it
furthermore
Linking Words
, the
user
Use synonyms
 who used
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 from
brazil
Capitalize word
Brazil
show examples
 had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage lower than
Change the capitalization
Russia
show examples
russia
Change the capitalization
Russia
show examples
 almost
5
Correct article usage
a 5
show examples
% of
difference
Add an article
the difference
show examples
 between them
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 who used
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 regularly with
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
user
Use synonyms
 of 13
billion
Use synonyms
In contrast
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nigeria
Change the capitalization
Nigeria
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 and
Change the capitalization
Mexico
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mexico
Change the capitalization
Mexico
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 there was smallest negligible difference in term of ratio
while
Linking Words
india
Change the capitalization
India
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 had the lowest ratio of all the remaining countries
overall
Linking Words
, it is vividly manifested that
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 maintained its first spot with massive
internet
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
while
Linking Words
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 had the
last
Linking Words
 position of
Use synonyms
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 massive population in total

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, user, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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