Some people think that illegal internet download are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

#people #internet #download #effect #music #industry #impact #artists

Since the introduction of the internet, people have always debated

opon

Correct your spelling

upon

whether the illegal

usages

Fix the agreement mistake

usage

show examples

such

technologies will

outwiegh

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the advances it will bring forth. One of the main topics to talk about is the music industry.

It is clear that

no matter what is done

unautorized

Correct your spelling

unauthorized

usage of tracks can not be controlled, yet the question that remains is "

does

Capitalize word

Does

show examples

it have a profound effect on the whole industry?".

Firstly

, it should be noted that the phenomenon

definetly

Correct your spelling

definitely

has a

negetive

Correct your spelling

negative

sum result. Some people stand behind the idea that

such

actions will hurt the music. The line of thought they have is,

Correct word choice

that if

show examples

an artist is making less

money

as a result

of an individual not paying to buy the track, they will have less to produce the next one.

This

is true

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

in the case of newcomers to the business. They are the ones at the highest risk since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they cannot make enough

money

to go on if similar actions go on.

On the other hand

, it can be said that

while

the

negetive

Correct your spelling

negative

consiquences

Correct your spelling

consequences

are clear, there is little that change they bring.

This

is the result of two main factors. The major one

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

, the consumer who uses

such

methods. As a recent internet analysis showed, most of the

illigal

Correct your spelling

illegal

downloaders are from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poorer countries ,who normally cannot

efford

Correct your spelling

afford

to pay for songs.

This

translates to almost no income lost

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since the person who got the song through

illigal

Correct your spelling

illegal

means wouldn't have paid for it anyway. On another side of the issue, lies the publicity of the artist who

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

not have

maid

Correct your spelling

made

show examples

it if these smaller songs didn't go around so much.

For instance

, we can look at the case of

Westghoust

Correct your spelling

Westinghouse

, a singer who made sure his songs could not

be attain

Change the verb form

be attained

show examples

through

such

mesures

Correct your spelling

measures

. In the his

carrier

Correct your spelling

career

show examples

did not bloom

as well as

it should have, showing the fault in his way. In the end, we have to pay attention to the unequal distribution of

money

and its effects on the music industry.In my opinion, it can easily be made clear ,that the little amount of

money

lost wouldn't have made a considerable impact on any artist.

Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on Mon Nov 20 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points of the essay succinctly.

coherence cohesion

Maintain consistency in spelling; 'negative' and 'illegal' need to be spelled correctly throughout the essay.

logical structure

Improve overall organization by creating distinct and logically connected paragraphs, each representing a unique idea or perspective.

clear comprehensive ideas

Task response could be enhanced by offering a more explicit opinion and expanding upon the provided examples to more deeply analyse their impact.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures for a more sophisticated command of language.

relevant specific examples

Provide more precise and varied examples to effectively illustrate the points, avoiding hypothetical or generic references.

task achievement

Work on the accuracy of language use, including grammatical structure and punctuation, to aid clarity of expression.

coherence cohesion

Retain an objective tone and avoid overly casual language to maintain the formal style of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

369 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that illegal internet download are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study abroad. Do advantage of this development outweigh this disadvantages ?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a negative or positive impact on society?

The percentage of overweight children has increased rapidly in the recent years in several countries. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.