Some people think that illegal internet download are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

#people #internet #download #effect #music #industry #impact #artists

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Since the introduction of the internet, people have always debated

opon

Correct your spelling

upon

whether the illegal

usages

Fix the agreement mistake

usage

show examples

such

Linking Words

technologies will

outwiegh

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the advances it will bring forth. One of the main topics to talk about is the music industry.

It is clear that

Linking Words

no matter what is done

unautorized

Correct your spelling

unauthorized

usage of tracks can not be controlled, yet the question that remains is "

does

Capitalize word

Does

show examples

it have a profound effect on the whole industry?".

Firstly

Linking Words

, it should be noted that the phenomenon

definetly

Correct your spelling

definitely

has a

negetive

Correct your spelling

negative

sum result. Some people stand behind the idea that

such

Linking Words

actions will hurt the music. The line of thought they have is,

Correct word choice

that if

show examples

an artist is making less

money

Use synonyms

as a result

Linking Words

of an individual not paying to buy the track, they will have less to produce the next one.

This

Linking Words

is true

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

in the case of newcomers to the business. They are the ones at the highest risk since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they cannot make enough

money

Use synonyms

to go on if similar actions go on.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it can be said that

while

Linking Words

the

negetive

Correct your spelling

negative

consiquences

Correct your spelling

consequences

are clear, there is little that change they bring.

This

Linking Words

is the result of two main factors. The major one

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

, the consumer who uses

such

Linking Words

methods. As a recent internet analysis showed, most of the

illigal

Correct your spelling

illegal

downloaders are from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poorer countries ,who normally cannot

efford

Correct your spelling

afford

to pay for songs.

This

Linking Words

translates to almost no income lost

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since the person who got the song through

illigal

Correct your spelling

illegal

means wouldn't have paid for it anyway. On another side of the issue, lies the publicity of the artist who

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

not have

maid

Correct your spelling

made

show examples

it if these smaller songs didn't go around so much.

For instance

Linking Words

, we can look at the case of

Westghoust

Correct your spelling

Westinghouse

, a singer who made sure his songs could not

be attain

Change the verb form

be attained

show examples

through

such

Linking Words

mesures

Correct your spelling

measures

. In the his

carrier

Correct your spelling

career

show examples

did not bloom

as well as

Linking Words

it should have, showing the fault in his way. In the end, we have to pay attention to the unequal distribution of

money

Use synonyms

and its effects on the music industry.In my opinion, it can easily be made clear ,that the little amount of

money

Use synonyms

lost wouldn't have made a considerable impact on any artist.

Submitted by mohammad.bameri.1380 on Mon Nov 20 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present

Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points of the essay succinctly.

coherence cohesion

Maintain consistency in spelling; 'negative' and 'illegal' need to be spelled correctly throughout the essay.

logical structure

Improve overall organization by creating distinct and logically connected paragraphs, each representing a unique idea or perspective.

clear comprehensive ideas

Task response could be enhanced by offering a more explicit opinion and expanding upon the provided examples to more deeply analyse their impact.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures for a more sophisticated command of language.

relevant specific examples

Provide more precise and varied examples to effectively illustrate the points, avoiding hypothetical or generic references.

task achievement

Work on the accuracy of language use, including grammatical structure and punctuation, to aid clarity of expression.

coherence cohesion

Retain an objective tone and avoid overly casual language to maintain the formal style of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Children who are brought up in a family that does not have a lot of money are better prepared to deal with problems when they become adults than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Do agree or disagree with the statement.
Several schools of thought have a strong conviction that youngsters who belong to middle-class families can better cope with daily challenges later in life when they become mature in comparison to children who belong to financially well-to-do families. I concur with this statement for several reasons.
7
band
Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
The government has spent too much on the education of students while it is argued that more government cash should be used for the purpose of organizing social activities as well as extracurricular courses. This essay will argue that it is better to involve extracurricular activities in school for young people rather than only concentrate on education.
6.5
band
You recently learned that a close friend of yours has had a baby, and you purchased a gift for the baby. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: Congratulate them on the arrival of the baby. Describe the gift you have chosen for the baby. Suggest arrangements for your visit to deliver the gift.
Long time no see. It has been 2 years since that the last time we saw each other in college. I was very surprised because it was a long time since we had met, but you brought a big news for me. When I received your handwritten letter which informed me that you gave birth to a baby. Congratulations! I am so happy for you. You finally have your own family with a cute baby girl.
6
band
The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Recently, there have been a lot of discussions about health and whether it is going to improve or not. In my opinion, I think that people will become unhealthier in the future than they are now. There are many reasons that support the idea of people becoming unhealthy in the future. Firstly, one reason is that of food. People tend to eat more fast food nowadays. They tend to treat themselves with sweets and chocolate whenever they want. This appears to be because people are busier now than they used to be. So, people don’t have a chance to cook or even learn the art of cookery. Also, having a lot of unhealthy food can lead to obesity and it could be a serious issue in the future. Another reason is that technology is developing everyday. Young people enjoy buying new gadgets and the latest devices.
8
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
When one falls into a case of misfortune, for example working a poor job or being short on funds, there is one side of the population that argues that the individual should accept their case, while the other side believes that they should strive for improvement and escape their ill-fate. On close examination of both arguments, it can be gathered that seeking change can have a more positive outcome.

Some people think that illegal internet download are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Children who are brought up in a family that does not have a lot of money are better prepared to deal with problems when they become adults than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Do agree or disagree with the statement.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.