With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?
The inexorable surge of global energy demands, particularly
oil
and gas
have led to an intensified search for untouched reserves. While
the search has merits in meeting our energy needs, it can also
cause profound consequences to the pristine environments.The question is whether the advantage of satisfying human own demands or the disadvantage of the potential environmental harm.
Foremost among the advantage
is economic growth,the countries which have sufficient Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
oil
and gas
can lead to an industrial revolution, thereby it will cause increasing employment opportunities.Moreover
, if a nation has its own natural source, it will no longer need to depend on importation, which will strengthen the stability of its price on both sources. For instance
, the global gasoline price had been dramatically risen due to
the war between Russia and Ukraine.
However
, while
the benefits of having gas
and oil
are obvious, we still cannot overlook the damage to the environment caused by searching the natural sources.First,
humans might destroy the habitat of diverse creatures while
they are discovering new areas. Second,
excessive use of oil
and gas
led to a surge in global temperature affecting the green area.Finally
, the whole ecosystem will be wreaked by human beings. For example
, because of climate change, the water is reducing, it cause life danger to all creatures on the earth , because we all need water to live.
In conclusion, while
having gas
and oil
can promote a nation’s economy and reduce the
population unemployment, as become Correct article usage
apply
independence
of natural resources, the cons of ruining our mother nature are too severe to bear. Replace the word
independent
As a result
, the benefit
can’t supersede the disadvantages of harming the reserves.Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Submitted by vivian901014 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. In your body paragraphs, make sure to explicitly compare the advantages and disadvantages in relation to how they 'outweigh' each other, as the prompt demands. Summarize your stance more clearly in the conclusion, ensuring it reflects the analysis presented in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is somewhat confusing. Consider using clearer topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and ensure that each main idea is further developed with specific examples and explanations. Improve the use of linking words to better relate ideas to each other, and within paragraphs, maintain a more logical progression of thoughts.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!