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Band 5.5

private transport is creating problems for people. What are these problems and how we can solve this?

#transport #people
Transportation owned by an individual is starting to generate problems for people.The problem of private transport‌is caused by SOV and can result in different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
pollution
.The possible solutions to
this
 problem will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
 ,
pollution
 is one of the biggest problems we face on earth today. These pollutions come in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 form of sound, air, and sometimes water
pollution
. The usage of private vehicles makes the situation more problematic. Harmful emissions from private car use, doing more harm than good. Every responsible habitant of
this
 planet should make an effort to use more public transportation .Many metropolitans around the globe are already putting it into practice.
For instance
, over
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of working Amsterdammers
commutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
commute
show examples
 to and from work on a bike.
Secondly
, the harmful gases emitted from the use of cars and bikes cause various respiratory diseases. Children all over the world are being born with birth defects.
However
, we can take several measures to solve these issues. The simple solution to
this
 problem is making stricter laws. The government should pass laws banning a family from having more than one personal vehicle. Automatically, there will be a decrease in
pollution
 and traffic.Every individual will be forced to take a bus or train. To give an instance, the council of Amsterdam has banned the driving of automobiles in the inner city.
To sum up
, in conclusion, the individual-owned vehicle should be controlled by the government by making it more expensive to afford.
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction and conclusion are both fully developed. The introduction should paraphrase the question and outline the main points that will be discussed, while the conclusion should summarize the main points effectively and provide a clear ending to the piece.
logical structure
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to organize your essay in a clear and logical manner. Use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately such as linking words, conjunctions, and pronouns to help the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
Expand on main points with adequate support in the form of examples, reasons, and results. Make sure each paragraph centers around a single main idea and is fully developed with distinct explanations and examples.
complete response
Address the task fully by covering all parts of the prompt, ensuring that you present a well-rounded discussion. Each of your main points should directly relate to the task question and contribute to an overall answer to both parts: discussing the problems and suggesting possible solutions.
clear comprehensive ideas
Explain your ideas comprehensively by providing clear exposition and context. It is essential to ensure the reader understands the significance of each point and how it relates to the topic question. Strive for clarity in expressing your ideas.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific examples to support your points. Real-world examples can be effective, but they should be relevant and accurate to strengthen your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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