Some educational systems make students study specialised subjects while others require students to study a wide range. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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this

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day and age, many people still debate about whether children should either learn the

overall

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courses

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or the specific field at

school

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. Despite

this

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topic still being a public controversy,

this

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essay will explain both of these views, and I believe that the

pupils

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who learn a wide range of studies will get more benefits than the

students

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who only focus on certain fields of study. Learning a specific field in

school

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leads the

students

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to be a specialist in the

future

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This

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is because the

pupils

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can focus on the

subjects

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that they are interested in studying.

For instance

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, high

school

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students

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who choose to deeply learn about economics

courses

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will only learn about macroeconomy theories, how government policies have affected society, and the principles of accounting.

As a consequence

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, by specializing to study on a certain knowledge, the

pupils

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will easily opt for their

future

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professions or

career

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projections

as well as

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being renowned industry experts.

On the other hand

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, the

students

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who prefer to learn a broad range of

courses

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will be exposed to many kinds of fields that have an emphasis on the

students

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' flexibility in their

future

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career

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aspirations.

For example

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, people who focus on studying sciences will learn several

courses

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related to physics, chemistry, and biology. Being a generalist will improve the

students

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' soft skills,

such

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as critical thinking and problem-solving. They have the opportunity to grow and learn all the

subjects

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and choose their own

career

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path. In other ways, the more

subjects

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they learn, the bigger opportunity they can reach in the

future

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To sum up

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, the

students

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who become a specialist will highly likely become industry experts at an early age.

However

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, the

pupils

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that learn the comprehensive

subjects

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school

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are significant to the

pupils

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' enhancement of their

future

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career

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determinations.

asyifannisakhTue Nov 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the main ideas are distinct from each other for greater clarity and impact. Your points sometimes overlap, which can diminish the strength of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing skills to improve the logical flow of your essay. This will help in seamlessly guiding the reader through the arguments and points made.

task achievement

While the response is adequate, to achieve a higher score, strive for more detailed development of your ideas. Fully expand on your points with comprehensive explanations, and stronger support. Use more precise examples to illustrate your ideas.

task achievement

Your essay tends to show generalization in examples, which could be improved by being more specific and detailed to effectively support your arguments. More concrete examples add credibility and depth to your response.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay conclusively addresses all parts of the task with a clear position throughout. While your opinion is present, reinforcing it throughout and in the conclusion can provide a more persuasive and cohesive argument.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Some educational systems make students study specialised subjects while others require students to study a wide range. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries,people are now living longer than ever before. Some people sayan aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change and developing countries. other believe that all countries should have the same responsibilties towards protectiong the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.