The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.  

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
bar chart
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
weekly spending by families in one country,
devide
Correct your spelling
divide
divided
Change preposition
into
show examples
by
Change preposition
into
show examples
eight different
categorys
Correct your spelling
categories
category
and compared
Change preposition
between
show examples
by
Change preposition
between
show examples
1968 and 2018.
Generaly
Correct your spelling
Generally
speaking, there are most of
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
food in 1968,
however
changed to leisure
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fifty years
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
.
However
, the
percentages
of fuel and power
Change the verb form
are
show examples
is keep
Change the verb form
is kept
is keeping
show examples
lowest during those fifty years. Looking more closely
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
figure, we can see that except
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
type of foods
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
35
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
, there are not notable
different
Replace the word
differences
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
housing, dressing, fuel, household
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
, personal
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
, transport and leisure, because their
different
Replace the word
differences
show examples
are less than 10
percentages
. In terms
Change preposition
of
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the figure
Change preposition
for
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
2018, the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
leisure but only
approx
Replace the word
approximately
show examples
twenty-two.
Whereas
the type of housing, food and transport
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
then
by 14 to 20
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Moreover
, fuel, dressing, household
pbjects
Correct your spelling
projects
,
personal
Correct word choice
and personal
show examples
objests
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
dramaticantly lower
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
others, even less than 10
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by bookcool5 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentages with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 6 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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