the chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three perios and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time

the chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three perios and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time
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the bar chart depicts both
men
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and
women
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Use synonyms
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
and part-time
further
Linking Words
education
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from 1970 to 1991 in Britain. In 1970 and 1971, about 1000
thousand
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male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
were in part-time
education
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,
this
Linking Words
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
dropped to
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
850000 in the next 2 decades,
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
fulltime
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education
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was dramatically down rather than part-time
education
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
in 1971 half of the 200
thousand
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men
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gave their full focus to their
education
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, after 10 years people
got
Verb problem
became
show examples
aware that they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
to focus more
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
education
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, though, after 20 years in 1991 the
number
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for
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fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
education
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was above 200
thousand
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, females were an upgoing trend not only for the part-time but
also
Linking Words
for
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Correct article usage
the fulltime
show examples
fulltime
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full-time
show examples
bookworms. At the
beginnig
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beginning
of the
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period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
women
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was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
less than 300
thousand
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people
while
Linking Words
looking to
men
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
in the next years frequently increased
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of people who
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
both work and study,
at the end
Linking Words
of the
period
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around 1100
thousan
Correct your spelling
thousand
women
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were in
education
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. Despite of
Use synonyms
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
study
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
hard for ladies,
however
Linking Words
Use synonyms
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
students
number
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also
Linking Words
increased over the
period
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. The
number
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changed from 20
thousan
Correct your spelling
thousand
to over 200
thousan
Correct your spelling
thousand
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Women
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showed progress in both
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
progress
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
over the
period
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, fulltime, education, thousand, number, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • further education
  • full-time/part-time
  • trends
  • enrollment
  • gender disparity
  • data analysis
  • British education system
  • education participation
  • demographic changes
  • socio-economic factors
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