Tourism is causing environmental problems all around the world. What are the main causes of this? What are some solutions?

#tourism #world

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In today's world Tourism is one of the major

revenue producing

Add a hyphen

revenue-producing

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stream

Change to a plural noun

streams

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although

it is highly appreciated for bringing in economic growth, research reports that it is the primary cause for affecting the environment.

This

is a huge global crisis that needs to be addressed urgently . In

this

essay , I will be citing my theories and some solutions for the issue presented at hand. Tourism

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apply

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attracts many people in specific hotspots

due to

which moving

population

Fix the agreement mistake

populations

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from different countries across the world are seen, they come

along with

a high amount of 'carbon footprint'.

This

produces large amounts of

green house

Correct your spelling

greenhouse

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gasses which

changes

Correct subject-verb agreement

change

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the atmosphere's air by penetrating into the layers.

For example

, Bali being one of the most visited

place

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places

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, has a surging footprint with

it's

Replace the word

its

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wave of tourists coming in

every where

Correct your spelling

everywhere

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. I believe,

bringing in

Verb problem

that

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strict laws to reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

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carbon must be introduced by local governments, where policies are made and diligently followed.

Secondly

along with

the human count rise in tourist areas , there is the danger of exploitation. Whenever

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apply

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we encounter any new entertainment service, it is followed by by floras and faunas being endangered.

This

is to make hotels, parks, malls, shops and other fun-filled activities for the vacationers.

For example

, when I visited Bali numerous areas were cut down and destroyed to build markets, pubs and eateries.

Although

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apply

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they were extremely inviting to engage in , it came with a heavy cost.

However

, if local communities, petitioned and

striked

Correct your spelling

struck

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against

such

atrocities towards the system

then

improvements

can

Wrong verb form

could

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be witnessed. Taking all the points

Change preposition

into

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account, I conclude that if we involve central and state governing parties which implement regulatory bodies,

then

tourism can be carried on without harming any natural habitats.

Submitted by insighttribez on Tue Nov 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay presents ideas in a somewhat logical flow, however, the progression of ideas could be enhanced by clearly outlining them in the introduction, and effectively signaling transitions between paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are important for framing your argument, yet they require improvement. The conclusion should not introduce new ideas; instead, it should effectively summarize and restate the position taken in the body of the essay.

coherence cohesion

While the essay provided some supported points, further development with more specific examples and explanations would strengthen the arguments. Each point should be clearly related to the thesis and thoroughly elaborated.

task achievement

The response addresses the task only partially, without fully developing all parts of the prompt. The essay needs to address the causes and the solutions with equal depth and detailed insight to meet the requirements of the task effectively.

task achievement

The essay contains clear ideas, but to enhance task achievement, ensure that ideas are fully developed and comprehensive, covering all aspects of the prompt in a balanced manner. Avoid general statements in favor of specific, insightful discussions.

task achievement

Relevant examples are included but could be more specific and detailed. Examples should be used not only to illustrate a point but also to deepen the analysis and show a clear understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Tourism is causing environmental problems all around the world. What are the main causes of this? What are some solutions?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many governments think that economics progress is there most important goal some people fieber think that other type of progress are equally important for a country discuss both views and give your opinion

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Living in a country where you have to speak foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most schools give their students grades based on their performance. Why do so many schools utilize this method of student evaluation? In what ways does this affect students?

The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?