IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that exercise is key to health while others feel that having a balance diet is more importannt.

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Some people notion that physical activity is the gateway to a healthy
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some believe that
nutrition
Use synonyms
 is more essential.
While
Linking Words
exercise
Use synonyms
 keeps the muscles active,
diet
Add an article
the diet
show examples
 provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable
nutrition
Use synonyms
 to the
body
Use synonyms
 for smooth functioning. In my opinion,
exercise
Use synonyms
 plays a major role in providing an individual with a breakthrough to a healthy
life
Use synonyms
. Going tough on your
body
Use synonyms
 with rigorous training
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 cardio,weight training,
playing
Correct word choice
and playing
show examples
 outdoor sports, keeps an individual's
body
Use synonyms
 warm.
Therefore
Linking Words
, giving the muscles the stretch and
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 that stretch to not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
keep them isolated for long
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
wears them out,
thus
Linking Words
 affecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human health.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my
childhood
Add a comma
childhood,
show examples
 all the adults would
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
 in order to
mainatin
Correct your spelling
maintain
 their health, which extended their lifetime to almost 10 more years.
Source
Correct article usage
The source
show examples
 of food,
its
Correct word choice
and its
show examples
nutrition
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 essential for the
body
Use synonyms
 to carry out tasks on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is the major reason behind all the functions being performed in our
body
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, protein provides the muscle
Change preposition
with that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
nutrition
Use synonyms
 it needs to actually maintain the pump after
exercise
Use synonyms
,
according to
Linking Words
 gym trainers.
However
Linking Words
,
nutrition
Use synonyms
 alone without any
exercise
Use synonyms
 may go in vain to prove to be the key to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
To conclude
Linking Words
,
body
Use synonyms
 movement plays a major role in
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintaining
 an
illness free
Add a hyphen
illness-free
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
nutrition
Use synonyms
 alone can not surpass the weightage of effectiveness of the physical activity on
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
body
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the essay, ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. The conclusion should summarise your main points effectively. Make sure that each paragraph naturally follows from the one before, for better logical flow.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task, however, it is crucial that you develop your ideas fully. Aim to present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. Provide clear and detailed examples to support each point for a stronger argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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