IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words

#people #car-free #air #pollution
Nowadays many
people
 believe that one of the most effective ways to reduce
air
pollution
 is conducting
car-free
days
,
while
 others contend that other options are more efficient. I believe both views are valid, but
car-free
days
 exceed the benefits
to overcome
Change preposition
of overcoming
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 issue of
air
pollution
 than another way.
Car-free
days
 can be determined as a day without cars, meaning that cars are prohibited
to pass
Change preposition
from passing
show examples
 in an area. Some point out that
car-free
days
 can be beneficial to cope
air
Change preposition
with air
show examples
pollution
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 reducing
carbon
Correct article usage
the carbon
show examples
 footprint which is produced by many vehicles.
This
 is because
usually
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many
people
 in the world
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 fossil fuels as a main resource for their cars, and it can lead to an increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
carbon footprint in the
air
. When the carbon footprint
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
 dramatically, the quality of
air
 can be worse.
Thus
, I believe that having
car-free
days
 will be the best solution to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
pollution
.
Furthermore
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
pollution
 can be reduced day to day by
car-free
days
, we can expect that many
illments
Correct your spelling
illnesses
 caused by
air
pollution
 can be
done
Verb problem
avoided
show examples
.
For example
,
people
 who are suffering from lung diseases
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of bad
air
 quality will get some improvements after all.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that
instead
 of having
car-free
days
 eliminating the number of
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 per
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
show examples
 can be more effective
to resolve
Change preposition
in resolving
show examples
air
pollution
 issues. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
pollution
 is one of the massive problems in the world, it is
necessarily
Change the word
necessary
show examples
 to become
strike
Correct article usage
a strike
show examples
 for having a new rule.
For example
, the government
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
primarily
shoulder
Correct subject-verb agreement
shoulders
show examples
 the responsibility can limit the number of vehicles per
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
show examples
.
As a result
, many drawbacks including
air
pollution
 can be resolved. In conclusion, even though both notions are able to be a solution for reducing
air
pollution
, having
car-free
days
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not only more invaluable way for reducing
air
pollution
 but
also
 it can be the best treatment
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
respiratory disease.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response
Your essay generally addresses the task, but it needs a clearer position throughout. Make sure your opinion is stated in the introduction and consistently maintained and referenced back to throughout your writing.
coherence cohesion
You should aim to present a more logically structured argument with clearer paragraphing. Ensure your points progress in a logical order to enhance readability and understanding.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This adds credibility to your claims and conveys a better understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • emissions standards
  • renewable energy
  • environmentally friendly
  • public transportation
  • pedestrian zones
  • commuter behavior
  • awareness
  • incentives
  • air pollution
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