IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspaper will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#rise #popularity #internet #newspaper
Many
people
 claim that newspapers will not be read by
people
 anymore like it was before as the
internet
 is at its boom. I totally agree with the given statement and the reasons for my agreement will
further
 be discussed in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, The
internet
 has become very accessible with growing technological infrastructure, meaning that the
network
 infrastructure
that is
 developing on a daily basis is allowing
people
 to join the
network
 connectivity with mobile gadgets. All these have become important and affordable without which one cannot imagine their daily tasks being completed.
For example
, even at the store if a person has to make a payment, they are using the
internet
 to pay the bills using applications on their mobile phones.
Hence
, we can claim that each person is very much connected to the
network
 of devices.
Secondly
, all the
information
that is
 supposed to be in the newspaper is right on the
internet
 but in the form of a digital copy.
In other words
, the way
people
 read news in earlier times was way different. They would wait for morning to purchase the newspaper and only
then
 read the
information
 related to local, global and other topics. But now, just with a click and every second the data is uploaded and is available to the general public irrespective of the location. All the news or any
information
 is just available because of
network
 connectivity.
Therefore
, we can easily claim that the
Internet
 is the solution to getting to know about the happenings of the day at any time and anywhere.
Finally
, I conclude by saying that newspapers are slowly disappearing as the
internet
 is taking its place. Not only does the
internet
 provide
information
 to the
people
 that the newspaper would have
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
it
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
information
 with updates every second. Henceforth, we must always welcome technology
that is
 advanced by all means.
Submitted by badshashaikh840 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks complex structures in presenting arguments and can benefit from more variety in sentence structures to enhance readability and flow. Avoid repetitive sentence beginnings and strive to incorporate a diverse range of connectors and discourse markers.
task achievement
Make sure to address the prompt fully by discussing both sides of the argument where necessary, even if you are taking a clear stance. Include a counterargument paragraph to show a balanced view before restating your position.

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